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donkeykong64
79 M Embraced
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceSeptember 10, 2019
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Am I doing the right thing?
Relationship Stress / by donkeykong64
Last post
 November 29th, 2022
...See more I (27M Local) and my girlfriend (21F International Student) have been together 9 months but we have had trust issues from the beginning. Prior to starting our relationship 9 months ago, we were Friends With Benefits for another 10 months. She has felt insecure about our relationship since we met 19 months ago, but promised she wont leave me. I have felt insecure about the relationship due to her being international and not having a promised future in my country. This insecurity of mine developed from my first girlfriend being deported from the country 3 months into us dating, and then having a rough long distance relationship for 4 months after, before breaking up. 1 week into us dating, I went out with two of my best friends for dinner and I had not yet told them I had started a relationship. One of the best friends had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and needed a release so we went to a strip club. I told my girlfriend this and she was ok with it, told me to have fun and get home safe. I respected her a lot for this, and the time we spent at the strip club was purely social and for having a laugh at other people ogling the strippers. I would get home that night and there were no issues. 1 week later my girlfriend would reveal that i had crossed her boundary, and that I gave her trauma with the word strip club and she considered that I had cheated on her. I told her how everything happened and that going to a strip club is not cheating, but she wouldnt accept it, not even til this day. So I've accepted her boundaries and promised never to go to a strip club. I have a female best friend who is the sister of the aforementioned best friend who wanted to go to the strip club. My girlfriend was ok with her at first, but she started to feel that my friendship with her was too close. We used to talk everyday, play games together and go to the gym together with me as her trainer. She was a big part of my "rehab" after breaking up with my first girlfriend, and i considered her family. My girlfriend doesnt understand this and thinks that because she cheated on her boyfriend at the time, shes untrustworthy. She guilt tripped me into cutting her off, as well as another female friend who was part of the same circle. I have been feeling like shes controlling my life too much but i dont know if its because I have become accustomed to a certain level of freedom as a single man. Is it normal for a girl to have these boundaries?
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