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dontknow8
1 1,788 M Hopeful Heart
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2016 Member sinceJanuary 5, 2016
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My bad disturbing thoughts.........:'(
OCD & Related Behaviors / by dontknow8
Last post
 February 13th, 2016
...See more Hey my real name is Jeff I'm French and I'm suffering from OCD bad thoughts... 3 years ago I had 5 friends who were really close to me and I always helped them with homework , money or other things but they all have used me.... they never took me as a friend..basically they stole everything from me....everything.....from them a guy asked me if he can have my PS for a day and I gave him and its been years he never returned when I ask him to give he will start ignoring or blackmail that he will beat me and stuff....its been months and i didnt ask coz they all are controlling me now indirectly .... I allowed them to meet my cousins and they really liked it my cousin helped them all to learn French coz they all dont understand french and wanted to learn f so my cousin was happy to teach them French but i dont know my cousin got really really close to them and sarted avoiding me...and slowly..slowly we became strangers...not only my cousins but they even stole my other school mates and so many things from me which i dont have it.....:/ its been almost 9 months and we alll stopped talking but I always have fear they will steal everything If I get married they will steal my wife... if i have a baby they will steal him......and now limits are crossed coz i joined a new university and all are strangers here i try to have conversation with them but then a thought comes of my backstabber mates and I become without any confidence thinking that they will steal my new mates too...... and one guy his name is ''Anuj ' he is really really good looking and very smart....people get attracted to him easily....he is my biggest fear of life...my cousins dont message me but him...he actually used me for money ..i just feel really bad for myself....i cant forget what they did to me..stole everything from me...everything...... Whenever i try to keep conversation with someone a thought of them comes and i feel like a black magic will happen..a black magicc and they will steal it from meee or the person will find me annoying or start ignoring meeeeeeeeeee...........i have thoughts that Anuj is kissing my loved ones ..cousin and alll :( :( I LITERALLY LOOSSEE MY ALL SELF CONFIDENCE WHEN I TRY TO KEEP A CONVERSATION AND THOUGH OF THEM COMES AND FEEL LIKE A BLACK MAGIC WILL HAPPEN THEY WILL IGNORE ME , AVOID ME OR IM ANNOYING.... WHAT SHOULD I DO?:( IS IT MY OCD? OR BAD DISTURBING THOUGHTS OR WHAT? IS BLACK MAGIC REAL? OR WHAT? IM SO LOST AND I KEEP REPEATING THINGS.. I FEEL LIKE THEY WILL STEAL EVERYTHING FROM ME... :/ MY FAMILY SPENT SO MUCH OF MONEY FOR A THERAPIST BUT SADLY IT DOESNT WORK :( WHAT SHOULD I DO?:'(
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