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eggAndJamSandwich
91 M Embraced
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2018 Member sinceMarch 3, 2018
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Depressed angry anxious useless
Depression Support / by eggAndJamSandwich
Last post
 March 6th, 2018
...See more Pretty sure the highpoint of my life was when I was 16. It was all downhill from there. Since then I've been unable to make friends, get good grades or maintain relationships with my family. Im constantly shifting between hating myself or everyone around me. I end up spending so much time contemplating suicide I fail to do anything productive, academic or otherwise. This afternoon I wanted my life to end because my dad got pissed about me not putting my shoes away on the rack instead of on the welcome mat. Stupid I know but this is a guy who gets peeved about avocado shells being left in a plate. I wanted him to die and I wanted myself to die. I wish i could move out but Ive worked minimum wage before and it does not pay enough and it kills you slowly from the inside just like how it is living with my dad. My mom's the only brightness in my life but even she's confessed that nobody can help me if I can't help myself so if I can't finish college and find a job I'm boned. At this point it feels like the robots are all going to replace us anyway. Most classes are terrible and I end up attending lectures digesting nothing and feeling worn out by my own inability to learn and losing motivation for anything. Two more years left of this hellish cradle before the real world if I can even find a job with my low 2.9 gpa. Exit bag sounds great.
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