everlasts Member Profile

...See more my partner of a couple years recently broke up with me roughly about two weeks ago and it left me with this incredibly ill feeling. for one, the "talk" was brought up randomly and was incredibly vague. they told me that we’d be better off as friends considering the arguments we’ve had in the relationship, then resumed to state how they care about me deeply. it was lighthearted and didn’t seem very serious— although this is a huge decision to make. this took me a moment to process and I was in shambles once I did. I spiraled into this mindset of making bad decisions, but I came back to them shortly after, crying and questioning if this is genuinely something they want to go through with. they tell me yes and that they didn’t expect me to react this strongly due to me expressing wanting to break up in the past. the only reason I expressed that was because of their behavior towards me. obsessive and possessive over how i’d spend my time. they told me countless times that they’d improve and never did. they told me lies, which is what it felt like. that was my reason, but theirs, when I got out of that spiral and wanted to have a genuine conversation about what lead up to them making this decision, they tell me they fell out of love with me— that they don’t have that ‘feeling’ of intense desire. and I said, " that’s infatuation , not love. it ends, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love me. “ they completely ignored my statements and resumed to convince themselves when I made suggestions that they “ wouldn’t work “ and they’d continue to have this “ numb feeling “. “ if I could love you again I would “. I questioned if these years of being together meant anything , given how easily they were ready to throw it away. they also mentioned our past arguments regarding their obsessive behavior made them feel the emotional numbness , and I asked why they didn’t say anything sooner if that was the case: why we didn’t discuss this earlier. and if this was something gradually leading up to your decision, why did you continue to give me false hope about our relationship they knew it was bad not talking, and had nothing else to say about that question. so eventually, i agreed to be just friends, since they were persistent about keeping me in their life, just not as a partner. but that entire concept was hard for me because I can’t deal with unrequited love which is why I broke that friendship few days ago. but an even deeper reasoning as to why I did was because during that proper conversation regarding the breakup, they tell me to set boundaries. one of them, which is selfish to an extent, was “not getting with anyone/acting on a new love interest while i’m still recovering. “ in my perspective, that’s completely reasonable if you want to be friends with someone that still loves you. and they agreed, said it was understandable. but shortly, let’s say a week after establishing that boundary, they come to me asking me to revoke it. telling me that it’s not fair to them. which, i would’ve understood if they said that initially and on their own accord, but they come to me with “ I think I’m catching feelings for someone “ and then say that ? how it’s “ unfair to not allow me to get with someone else. “ am I wrong for feeling extremely ill towards that ? especially when it’s not even a week past the break up and I didn’t even have time to recover /get over my feelings?

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