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fairmindedPenny1975
107 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 15, 2022
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Being comfortable with my girlfriend's ex
Relationship Stress / by fairmindedPenny1975
Last post
 January 3rd, 2023
...See more I am currently in my late 20s and began my first relationship with this wonderful girl. I am a little insecure about how many serious relationships and sexual partners she had in the past, and that there was a history of infidelity. We dated for 3 months and she has been my girlfriend for six. She still talks to a few of her exes and there is one who has been in her life for seven years. After breaking up, she continued a friends-with-benefits relationship with him for about half a year later; almost right up to the point at which we started dating. Their friendship has made me feel sad and dirty. Sad because I do not feel like I am enough for her. Dirty because it seems too easy to re-continue their arrangement. In a moment of weakness, I asked her if I never became comfortable with their friendship and she saw that I tried my best to accept it, and it was impacting my mental health, what would she do (implying would she break up with me or stop her friendship with him)? I do not like myself for asking that question. Part of me is 70% sure I'll become comfortable with their friendship. Part of me wanted reassurance about how important our relationship was to her. Either way, it wasn't right to ask, and she responded by saying that those hypotheticals are unhealthy and not useful (which is probably right). I feel like that answer implies that she would be unwilling to let go of her friendship with him and that then I would have to do what is healthiest for me (meaning for me to break up with her). I know she loves me. What can I do to feel better about this?
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