fearlessSkies3355 Member Profile

...See more I was 13 years old when my parents got divorced, I wouldn't say I was upset by the divorce as much as I was upset about how my parents started treating me after the divorce. I was the oldest child, first and only daughter, and my father who raised me and now was getting a divorce with my mother was not my biological father. I say all this because it is a tiny piece of the reason for how I was feeling the day it happened. I wasn't doing very well when I was younger, mentally speaking. I had an eating disorder, and had been self harming for a few yrs. So when my parents changed after the divorce for the worst i was …tired of it all. I had decided I didn't want to be a part of any of it anymore, and had planned on unaliving myself that night when everyone was asleep. I was with my dad (stepdad) that day, we were visiting his sister, my aunt. She lived next to my old elementary school, well within walking distance. Both my aunt and my dad were chatting and speaking with my siblings doing what felt like their best to exclude me. So much so that I left the house. I didn't say anything, I simply stood up and walked out the front door walking the few blocks to the elementary school. The elementary school was closed, school was out. I'm not sure if it was summer time or if we were on break. I just knew that school wasn't happening and therefore was empty of kids. My old school had three playground areas depending on the age of kids. Kindergarten didn't get the same playset area as the third graders. I went to the older kid playground. This area had the track and field area, swings, monkeybars, and tether balls. I went through the entrance closest to the main road which was closest to the swingset area. In front of the swing set area was the track and field. The field was in a long oval shape and at the other end of the track is a single entrance/exit that leads behind the school. I went to the swings and sat down, not really swinging by swaying my body slightly around, as I thought about how I was being treated by my family. I was getting upset, not to the point of tears but still upset and really thinking about what I had planned for that night. I was probably on the swing for 15 minutes when I noticed some people coming up the track from the back entrance. I figured once they saw me they would go to one of the empty playgrounds considering there's three of um. But they didn't stop walking towards my area of playground. As they got closer i saw that it was an older man probably in his 50-60s he was with a little boy no older than six years old, and a golden retriever who the old man kept throwing a tennis ball for. I thought it odd that he would take such a young kid to the older kid area of the playground, So when they reached my area, i debated on leaving but the old man stopped me with a simple “hello” he was so cheery, his voice had shaken me to my core. Mostly because I could feel the genuine happiness in his voice and it was directed at me which I hadn't felt in a long time. I of course said my hello back and tried not to show him how much he shocked me. I looked over at the little boy who hadn't looked at me, instead focused on his action figure he was holding and softly swinging on his belly a few swings down from me. He was a quiet little boy. Which struck me as odd, I have siblings and they were never as quiet as this boy was. He didn't talk or laugh while he softly played. The old man noticed me watching the boy. He had been silently throwing the ball to the dog over and over again as I watched the kid. The old man spoke to me again, he just started talking, his voice was no longer cheery but I could still feel the love and strength in his voice as he spoke. He told me about the little boy. He told me he was his grandson, and how his parents were getting divorced and neither of them had the time for the boy anymore so he took him. He told me how unfair it was that these parents were treating the boy and how upset he was for his grandson. That it wasn't his grandson's fault that he was unwanted but that he still loved him and that's all that mattered. He said more I'm sure but as time has passed I've started forgetting what all he said. But it honestly does not matter what the old man said because it was the feelings that cascaded around me as he spoke. I started to tear up as this stranger comforted me through his child. I felt like he was speaking to and about me using the boy as some buffer. I felt loved and wanted, I was so overwhelmed when he spoke to me. Not once did he wait for me to add to his conversation, he didn't need me to have a response, he was just telling me. I sat in silence on the swing as he spoke, watching and listening to his every word. He wasn't even at the park for a total of five minutes when he simply smiled at me, took the hand of the boy and started walking away. No goodbye was said, no nice talking to you, nothing. He told me his grandson's story and simply started to leave after dropping a bomb of emotions on me. I remember feeling overwhelmed, I was shaking from the feelings he had left me with. I looked down at my knees briefly as he started walking away, not 10 steps ahead. I looked back up not a minute later and they were gone. Vanished into what felt like thin air. Old man, dog, and child had somehow disappeared on a field with only two exits. I knew they couldn't have reached the exit from which they came in across the field and that was the direction they were headed for. I wasn't worried that they disappeared, I was still dealing with my own feelings, the feeling of holding on and that eventually it will get better was fresh if not charging through me. I stood up and walked back to my aunt's house. I cried the whole walk back. And when I went back inside no one asked me where I had been or what I was doing for the hour I was gone, but it suddenly didn't matter to me. I didn't care that my family clearly didn't care about me anymore. I felt like the stranger loved me more and that's all that mattered. He was like an angel, he saved my life. I didn't try to un-alive myself that night or any night after because of him and what he made me feel. The moment he opened his mouth I felt that glow of special and I'll never forget how it made me feel. Even now as i think of it i could only compare that happy content feeling to that of heaven and the joy of angels at peace. I can't imagine a person being capable of pushing so much happiness into another person. It truly felt like I was glowing and changed by the experience. I am not sure if they were angels or ghosts or some other creature. All I know is they changed me and I'm grateful.

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