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fineUntilnow
1 67 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceOctober 12, 2021
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Anxiety and trauma in dating
Relationship Stress / by fineUntilnow
Last post
 October 19th, 2021
...See more Hi I'm new here I just typed this whole thing out and tried to publish it but it didn't work, so here we go again. Basically I met a girl online (I am also a female) and hit it off really well. I was in a place in my life where I loved my work and had so much joy in life that I was ready to share it with someone. I had met with someone else and it didn't go the greatest. I couldn't make eye contact and it was awkward. So I met with this woman and was a little nervous. I got to the table and we started talking. Eye contact. Non stop talking. The waitress had to come back 6 times because we didn't look at the menu yet. She was wearing a scarf because she had gone through chemo about a year ago. I was also waiting to hear back from some doctors about a lesion on my brain. We talked about the possibility of her cancer coming back. This was a two hour lunch. By the end of the lunch I thought to myself "sign me up for this. Cancer or no cancer. I want to be a part of this". On my drive home I got a text telling me I was naturally pretty. I replied that she was too and she looked great in her scarf. The next date included her 2 year old. We went to a wild west town and rode a train. It was another great day. I fell even harder. Later that day I got a text saying she wasn't ready to date. My heart hit the floor. I have severe rejection anxiety. I've been told it is complex ptsd. I have been having panic attacks for days now. It will take a long time to get over this. I was doing well for so many years!
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