Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
floraM13
1 8,092 M Moving Along 8
PathStep 65 Compassion hearts266 Forum posts73 Forum upvotes104 Current upvotes104 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceJanuary 1, 2020
Bio

Hi!

Recent forum posts
floraM13 profile picture
Relapsed after three months (trigger warning)
Self-Harm Recovery / by floraM13
Last post
 November 7th, 2020
...See more Hi everyone. So, I was three months clean from self-harm. Then I failed a chemistry quiz yesterday, and I guess that caused me to spiral. It wasn't like I didn't know what I was doing, I knew exactly what I was doing, my brain gave me many chances not to self-harm, but I forced myself to. Every time I think of my grade I just want to self-harm over and over. At this point I don't know if it is worth trying to stay clean again. I'm just so frustrated and alone.
floraM13 profile picture
My first time *trigger warning*
Self-Harm Recovery / by floraM13
Last post
 June 23rd, 2020
...See more Today I self-harmed for the first time. I mean in the past I have scratched myself or hit myself, but they never left any marks and was just temporary, so I don't consider it as self-harm. But today I couldn't help myself, and did it. It didn't even hurt when I did it, and I didn't even think it worked because there was no signs that anything happened. But now, I can see the scars. They are really small and I don't think anyone will ever notice them, mainly because the tool I used is not common at all. But that isn't stopping my anxiety, there is one part of my brain thinking that evenings will notice, even though the rational part of my brain is telling me they won't. I don't know how to feel. I can't believe I did it, I didn't think I ever would. I don't even know why I did it, something had happened, but it wasn't too bad and I have gone through much worse things. I am feeling really ashamed, and guilty. I never wanted to sh, and I am terrified I will do it again. It didn't help me at all, and I didn't feel the way I have heard a lot of people say they feel when they do it. But it also may be because I didn't even really feel it; doing the things I mentioned above do help me. I am just so overwhelmed. I don't know what's going to happen now.
Search more from @floraM13
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
38 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Super Active Chief Chat Honest Voice Confident Voice Power Voice Strong Start Milestone Journeying Strong Reconnect Walking Together First Post Debuted Reaching out Helping out Appreciated Voice Contributor Community Collaborator First Compassion Helpful heart Kindness personified Loving Soul Bundled Group Chimer Member Oath Forum Companion Forum Helper 7 Day Streak Evolution Meet & Greet Teammate Group Friend Forum Friend Meaghan's Heart Strong Bond I
Report an issue