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flower682
78 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceMay 18, 2020
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I want to salvage my relationship but i'm not sure how
Relationship Stress / by flower682
Last post
 May 18th, 2020
...See more I want to know if i should try to salvage my relationship. I want to because i'm put time effort and finances into counseling for us but i am tired of feeling like i'm doing most of the work. I don't want it to be a me vs him thing but i sometimes have a bad habit of laying out everything i do in the relationship to show that i "do more" than he does. I want us to be on equal footing but i don't feel like he listens to everything. We have gotten into arguments in the past and i honestly feel like they've all stemmed from his lack of communication with me. I've told him plenty of times how to tell me that he feels certain ways at times and how to address it but he doesn't always do it and then blows up. We didn't necessarily start off on the right foot for a relationship but i stuck around because i love him. Recently he got upset when he felt i was coming down on him about his life and is flaws and was angry at me so he ignored me for 4 days after having already previously ignored me the week before which hurt my feelings and made me feel unwanted and unloved. Because i that i felt distant, the more he ignores me the more i lose interest and i've expressed this to him in the past. I still had him come over and spent time with him but i was still hurt so i was cold and not very intimate. This made him angry and it blew up into a very heated arguement were i ended up taking him home. the entire car ride he coplained about how he was treated in the relationship, was disrespectful and told me to perform sexual acts with another man, yelled at me, told me he was done, blocked me on all social media. I in turn yelled at him in anger. At some point when i was close to his home he jumped out the car while i was driving, there has never ever been an issue of domestic abuse but he had grabbed my arm so that i couldn't keep him in the car and i hit him because i got scared. The next morning i found out he had stolen my hotspot for work and i had to call him to get it even though at that point i didn't want to communicate with him and we were broken up. He initially lied abou taking anything. He begged me to hear him out and that he had made a mistake but i was too angry about everything. We have since then not seen each other physically and haven't spoken in a week, he wrote me a long thought out email about how he feels about everything and wanting to reconcile. I love him but i don't feel in love anymore, i don't feel secure in the relationship and i'm tired of feeling like i'm the one that has to do work in order to make it work. I have to get over the hurt, I have to drive to see him because i have the car, i have to pay for these sessions because im more financially stable and i'm just tired because i'm not sure if things will change. i told him a stipulation of us getting back together was he seek single counseling for his anger and communication which is something he is very against and i did not think he would even look into it. he has agreed which makes me feel like maybe he is trying but i'm scared to get my hopes up. So i guess here we are and i'm not sure where to proceed from here. I know this is a lot to read but i definitely appreciate you taking your time to sift through everything
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