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forcefulSail3510
1 506 M Embraced 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2017 Member sinceAugust 2, 2017
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Friend being manipulative?
Relationship Stress / by forcefulSail3510
Last post
 August 2nd, 2017
...See more So lets call the names Steve and Sara I would say that Sara is one of my closest friends. Sara is married to Steve. They have been together for 11 years total, but broke up for a little bit due to Steve cheating on her. They just got married a few months ago. 3:42 PM Steve confessed to having a crush on me. Last year, he kept sending me really flirty snap chat messages. Nothing too terrible. Just really flirty. I told Alyssa (who is my girlfriend) all about them. Alyssa and I are not people who get mad or offended very easily. So I just answer Steve back in a very platonic way and I told him to please keep things platonic. He got the hint I think and didnt contact me via snap for at least 6 months. 3:43 PM Cue approx. 4 months ago, the flirtyness returns in a more mild manner, but this time via text. Of course I tell Alyssa. I answer back again in a very platonic way. I think 3:43 PM *minus the I think 3:43 PM I'm copying and pasting this from a text message 3:43 PM Alyssa notes that Steve looks at me very flirtatiously, kind of with googly eyes when we are at friend get togethers or house parties. We brush it off. I treat him very platonically. Mind you my priority here is my friendship with Sara and will always will be in this situation. Sara I think can pick up that Steve kinda has a crush on me and she knows that Steve has a thing for Asian women. Sara is asian herself lol. This summer via Snap, Steve asks if I would like to hook up with him. Like have sex. Long story short, I was very nice and said no in a nice way. I want to keep my friendship with you in a platonic way. He says itll take some time for him to get over his crush for me. If he can at all. 3:44 PM We still text platonically. Then he says he needs space. I cant have a friendship with you. Okay fine, my priority is keeping YOUR marriage intact and my friendship with Sara intact. So we stop texting platonically Like sharing stories how friends do. But then he asks AGAIN, we can have something more, etc. etc. Here, my patience runs a little dry and I say no again. Obviously! Its a cycle of texting platonically, him asking me to hook up, then him getting cold and not texting platonically anymore. He cant hold a friendship. Says this turned into shit. Um, how emotionally unstable ARE you? I keep reiterating that my priority is my relationship with Alyssa, your marriage with Sara especially of your history with cheating already, and my friendship with Sara. 3:44 PM I told him very clearly that I do not want to cheat with you at all ever and I want to keep a platonic friendship with you and that I have been very nice and patient in this situation. He has also asked multiple times to hang out, work out together, can I buy you thai lunch and I always say Im busy (because I am). And I told him that giving you space I would hope would help you get over your crush. He says sorry, Im not over it. He also said that its hurtful to think that you think that all I want is to hook up with you. and it honestly does feel like that... [/] 3:45 PM As I typed this out to my friend the other night, I realize how manipulative he has been. 3:45 PM And honestly at this point, if he doesnt want to keep the friendship, fine by me. My priority has always been my friendship with Sara anyway. I just want to make things easier because when Steve doesnt like one of Saras friends, he kind of gives her a hard time for hanging out with that person. I just want to make it easier on their marriage. Plus, it makes hanging out in groups easier. Hes so dramatic. this is over. Im ending this. this is done. I told him your feelings are taking this out of hand. 3:45 PM Another thing, he said that he couldnt help who he fell in love with referring to me. I said please, all you want is to have sex w/ me. Earlier this summer I inquired about him about his marriage, asking him if his needs are met in all areas of his life (b/c I believe cheaters usually lack something that they need and fail to communicate it) and he said no marriage is great, sex is great, I just want you. Im starting to think you hate me. ---- referring to the fact that I dont hang out w/ him. 3:46 PM I do not engage any invites he has sent me to hang out 1 on 1. 3:46 PM he says the marraige is great. And he said that I make him feel guilty about his marriage and that pissed him off b/c I told him that "you are hurting your vows." 3:46 PM He says he has no intention of destroying our friendships or relationships. It's unbelievable
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