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frankOrange5479
734 M Little Steps
PathStep 46 Compassion hearts93 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceMay 20, 2021
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Constantly feeling like a fake. (19.)
Depression Support / by frankOrange5479
Last post
 May 22nd, 2021
...See more In my teen years, I've done things that I've really, really come to regret. I'm trying to turn around now; I have been seriously attempting to do so for the last 4/5ths of a year now, I'd say. I've been fighting against bad habits and although there have been some relapses, I feel like I am growing - like I am beginning to change. I have friends, though, from that time; one of which is my partner. None of them know of these things, that I indulged in for years - participating in NSFW spaces when I was far too young to, struggling massively with my identity because of it (i am now more comfortable identifying as an asexual.. but being in these places at a young age, from 15-17 at the height of it, I feel has traumatized me to some extent), and - at my worst - catfishing someone. This was only for a day, but that's not an excuse. It was still horrible. I'm trying to change... but I am scared. What if these friends find out about what I did? I know I"m trying to change, but what if they find out and see 'the real me'? Am I a fake for trying to even change? Do I need to tell them about these things? Somedays I feel really hopeless. I'm not sure what to do.
frankOrange5479 profile picture
Constantly feeling like a fake. (19.)
Depression Support / by frankOrange5479
Last post
 May 22nd, 2021
...See more In my teen years, I've done things that I've really, really come to regret. I'm trying to turn around now; I have been seriously attempting to do so for the last 4/5ths of a year now, I'd say. I've been fighting against bad habits and although there have been some relapses, I feel like I am growing - like I am beginning to change. I have friends, though, from that time; one of which is my partner. None of them know of these things, that I indulged in for years - participating in NSFW spaces when I was far too young to, struggling massively with my identity because of it (i am now more comfortable identifying as an asexual.. but being in these places at a young age, from 15-17 at the height of it, I feel has traumatized me to some extent), and - at my worst - catfishing someone. This was only for a day, but that's not an excuse. It was still horrible. I'm trying to change... but I am scared. What if these friends find out about what I did? I know I"m trying to change, but what if they find out and see 'the real me'? Am I a fake for trying to even change? Do I need to tell them about these things? Somedays I feel really hopeless. I'm not sure what to do.
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