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galaxyGuy3445
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceNovember 11, 2022
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I want to walk without pain
Trauma Support / by galaxyGuy3445
Last post
 November 14th, 2022
...See more I'm not sure if I'm even doing this in the right section, but here it goes. In March of last year I tore both of my Achilles tendons in a bad workout accident. I had been living in my first home away from home half way across the country. I didn't know anyone that could help me, and I could barely make it across the room without feeling the worst pain I've ever felt. On top of that my abusive boss gave me an ultimatum, either show up to the office or I lose my job. I made it to the podiatrist, the only thing the doctor said was that I needed rest and steroids. They put me on a month of steroids and a doctor's note to prevent me from losing my job, but after a month my legs didn't heal and my boss started to pressure me again to come into the office despite the fact I couldn't walk or drive. I went back to the doctor and the only thing they did was give me more anti-inflammatory drugs and said "let me know if you need more". They wrote another doctor's note this time saying wait until I'm healed to get back into the office. I presented the letter to my boss and he said verbatim, "I don't care if you have a doctor's note, I'll take it as far as I have to go but you're coming into the office or you're done here." Thank goodness I had one coworker that drove me to the office, only so I could drag my body with my arms using crutches to my desk, so I could sit at a desk in the office to do the same job I could do from my home. I searched for a few months but I finally found a new position that was fully remote to help me with my situation, but unfortunately my legs never healed properly since I had to continue to put pressure on them while my achilles tendons were still torn, I wasn't strong enough to only use my arms to make it about 100 years to my desk and back. After about 3 months after resting I tried to go to physical therapy to strengthen my legs, it helped a little but I still couldn't walk without pain. After a certain point the physical therapy was too expensive and I was left to my own devices to try and get my legs back into walking condition. Here I am over a year and a half later and I went to a different podiatrist who took an MRI and found the tendons were severely inflamed and damaged and that surgery was the only option. At this point I'm a 30 year old man with nothing in my life, I can't even walk down the stairs. I just want to live a life where I can walk normal again, and I think the surgery will help. But I'm having a very hard time healing my mind from the emotional trauma that happened last year. I lost all my friends and a girl I really liked, but those people I met there acted like I didn't even exist after I got injured besides the one person that helped drive me to work. I feel so trapped in my own body and mind, and even though I had surgery on my left leg I'm terrified that it's only a matter of time before the right leg can't take the pressure and will tear as well. I'm so scared and I'm in pain still after all this time, it's such a sharp pain that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I don't know what to do I've lost connection with all the people I used to be able to talk to, and I'm alone still barely being able to walk around. I don't even know what I'm doing here typing all of this, I guess I just need to feel like I exist still. I just want to feel like I am a part of something again. I just want to be able to walk again without pain.
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