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generousApple9580
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceAugust 10, 2025
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I (F18) broke up with my BF (M18) recently, is it still possible to work things out?
Relationship Stress / by generousApple9580
Last post
 August 11th, 2025
...See more I’m 18 and just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Other than the fights I start during my PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) week, he’s been the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. I love his family, he’s sweet in person, gets me flowers every two weeks, always pays when we go out, and treats me well most of the time. Why I ended it: • When we first got together, he smoked and drank a lot. I asked him to quit, and he lied a few times while trying. He’s now been sober for 4 months, proven with drug tests, and has been going to the gym and improving himself. • Last month I saw messages between him and a girl who looks a lot like his ex (the opposite features from me). She asked to hang out, and he replied that he had a girlfriend but they could still go for a walk/run together. He never told me about her and deleted the messages when I confronted him. • I’ll admit — I once did something similar with my ex (just as friends) while we were dating. I canceled before it happened because it felt wrong, and I apologized profusely. It’s possible he thought this situation with the girl was okay because of what I’d done in the past. • He’s glued to his phone, even while driving, which has caused fights. • The final straw: I found out he watches porn. I personally see it as cheating, but we’d never discussed it before, so maybe he didn’t know it was an issue for me. • I also have severe PMDD, diagnosed by my psychiatrist, which causes me to bottle up small issues throughout the month and then release them all the week before my period. This pattern has happened in every fight we’ve had — including this breakup. We’ve discussed how I need to emotionally rely on him less and focus more on managing myself during that time, and I’ve been actively working on it. We’ve also talked about ways he can better comfort and reassure me during that week. Why I’m second-guessing: Friends have told me the “old friend” might have been innocent — just a run at the reservoir, which he does often — and that he may not have realized porn was a dealbreaker for me. Given my own past boundary-crossing with my ex, maybe he felt it was okay. Now I’m lonely and scared I might want him back for the wrong reasons. We’re young and maybe still learning how to love. I don’t want to end things over something small, but I also don’t want to keep giving him chances if this isn’t healthy. Right now, I’m planning to do a month of no contact before trying to be friends, to see if we could work again or if I should move on for good. Suggestions? TIA (:
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