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generousScarf294
1 137 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2023 Member sinceApril 16, 2023
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Questionning as an adult
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by generousScarf294
Last post
 May 3rd, 2023
...See more As a kid and teen never considered myself anything else than a girl and praised myself for not caring too much about how i look like. If i think about it my body is fine by me but i came to realise i'm not 100% ok with my appearance. I know appearance with gender expression isnt gender identity but still... I recently came to a country whose language is more gendered than mine for a few months and i couldnt help but notice how it hits weird to hear the female version of we. Not sure if it's because I am just not used to being refered to or something else. Saying i'm a woman also hits a bit weird, as a young adult i try to convince myself it's just that i dont see me as an adult yet. Not a big fan of my name but dont hate it either. Using the adjective feminine to describe myself feels off. Got given more masculine clothes for work and loved how it looked and then panicked when suddenly feeling uncomfortable with some of my usual clothes. I managed to calm down a bit saying it doesn't have to mean anything but that id like to change my wardrobe. Can you just not like and not be used to being refered to ? How do i find my gender identity if it's not by looking for pronouns i want to be refered as ( i read it was different) ? I panicked at the thought of not being cis, i want to be cis. Tried to convince myself i was cis and it slipped out in a round of saying whats pronouns we use instead of saying feminine i said i dont care but i guess I might care and i didnt mean to say it. How can i come to term with the possibility that I might not be ? I mean it shouldnt matter, but whatever my conclusion becomes what should I do about those feelings ? Should do what feels right i guess but how do i even go about finding that out ? Shouldnt i just try to ignore this off feeling ? Could it go away ? Can i get to a point where i dont care how I refer to myself and how others refer to me ? What should i do ?
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