generousWheel8304 Member Profile

...See more I’ve had sex before, but I can’t really enjoy it. I’m terrified of looking inexperienced and making a fool of myself if it’s someone I’m actually close to, but I don’t feel anything towards random hookups really, which I’ve tried because I thought the anxiety of not knowing what to do would be reduced if I didn’t have to worry about seeing them ever again while still letting me gain some experience so I can feel confident when I actually want to have sex with someone. But that hasn’t worked. I had a “situationship” that sort of fell into a FWB situation, but I can’t initiate physical contact and I feel extremely guilty, perverted, or just gross if I even try to express what I want? This applies to all physical contact too, I would feel this intense disgust over even wanting to hold hands. I feel like I’ve now started to link sex with physical contact, and I’m not sure if I want sex or just a hug, and if sex was just a way to get that without having a relationship. I don’t want to have sex with people I like because it feels far too personal, and I’ve noticed that with most of my talking stages/the closest thing I’ve gotten to a relationship, I either become really attached if the other party isn’t, but if there’s actual potential for something good to happen my stomach flips and I cut it off before it can go any further. I don’t know if I’m just afraid of commitment, if I just don’t have the sex drive I’m supposed to, or if I’ve just had sex in the past for some kind of validation? I have a very close friend of many years, and we’ve discussed a fwb type thing before, but we’re really close so I’m not sure if thats why I’m not able to, because I would hate to put any strain on the friendship, or make it weird if I wind up never wanting to think about it again. I was really in the mood one time and I thought I was finally able to separate any meaning from the act, but when it came down to it I couldn’t do it. I wish I could just enjoy casual sex without placing so much importance on it, or figure out what it is that I really want. Does anyone else have any similar feelings or experiences?

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