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gigglingriver
539 M Embraced 4
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceMarch 28, 2022
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Need to sleep
35 & Over Community / by gigglingriver
Last post
 April 18th, 2022
...See more I'm lying in bed and can't sleep because my thoughts are going crazy and I can't calm down. My step mom just went down hill and has been told she has basically less than a month to live. This is horrible news on its own she's been fighting stuff for a bit and while doing so her friend and sister did step up and stayed there... but as it turns out for a price. 3 years ago on March 7th my dad died of a heart attack he never thought he'd die first but and had told my step mom that because 10 years ago (on April 1st) when my mom passed away in a fit of anger when I asked her for a better relationship then her saying mean things to me and my kid she took me out of her inheritance and gave to her as she said stealing girlfriend... so my Dad whom was pissed told his wife and I that although he didn't think he'd die first he knows he needs things to go to his wife to support her then go to me... the price for my step moms friend and sister there was to convince her to give half the inheritance to them. Now here I am just wanting to grieve with these people cuz sure that's wrong but they aren't all bad they do care for my step mom and I have been through enough lost with my friend and my cousin like a brother passing away about 2 and 2 ½ years ago on top of my parents that the best way to heal is together and with love and compassion but now instead I have to wait till she passes away cuz she can't talk or function at all right now to then fight this new will. I really really don't want to but I've lead a life of letting people take advantage of me and I know I have to try to stand up for myself. That doesn't stop me from feeling just so awful like her someone is dying and we r needing to say goodbye and instead of coming together I have to talk about my dad's inheritance and fight people from taking half... I feel like a monster and it just breaks my heart so much. I just needed to say it again... cuz this feeling is just sitting in the pit of my stomach and I'm hoping the more I say it the easier it will be to overcome. I don't know if these things get read but honestly the more that I hear others thoughts the better cuz listening to my own kinda suck right now. Thank you.
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