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girl3132
3,639 M Seeking Light 2
PathStep 172 Compassion hearts242 Forum posts71 Forum upvotes150 Current upvotes150 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2019 Member sinceFebruary 6, 2015
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Fear Foods
Eating Disorder Support / by girl3132
Last post
 January 30th, 2016
...See more How to win the battle to the food we fear to eat and make us feel crazy? Any ideas or experiences you want to share? Thank you
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Seattle, WA
Around the World / by girl3132
Last post
 September 11th, 2020
...See more Or anyone in the emerald state say hi!
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Family rejection + subsequent issues. Losing my strength very badly now.
Depression Support / by girl3132
Last post
 February 7th, 2015
...See more How do/did you deal with family rejection?  I use to despair and get suicidal thoughts because the love I deserve as daughter and sister has always been denied to me and I feel like I can't keep living because I need them and getting their love isn't gonna happen. I feel absolutely alone as I have no friends because all of them end up leaving me at some point. I had a boyfriend who was a psychopath and hurt me so badly that I might have PTSD and now I'm afraid of opening myself to other people, specially men, and I have trust issues, which makes socializing way more difficult. I also have social anxiety. I was bullyied at school and in my neighborhood when I was 14 by people older than that ended up calling me on the phone at night telling me they would kill me. My parents just said "what do you want us to do?" and brother (4 years older than me) laughed in my face and blamed me for their abuse. I tend get memories and dream of my family members treating me bad, humilliating me or telling me really bad things. I don't really have good memories of anything I lived with any of my family members. I still live with my mum because I can't be independent (crisis, no job). I've tried to talk about these problems and about how I feel with my friends but it's very difficult because most of them made me feel like I'm a weak person and I regret then that I tried to ask for help. Others just don't understand or don't know what to say, which I understand. The story of my exboyfriend is very traumatic. It includes rape. Whenever I tried talking about it, I've been blamed and called weak and I didn't get to talk about the real bad things he did. I also have an eating disorder. I'm an emotional eater + binge eater and I'm fighting everyday to not eat as a way to manage my feelings and lose some weight. I've been mistreated by those supposed to love me and I feel so lonely I can't bear it. This week I had 3 moments of crisis with suicidal thoughts and I kinda had to stop myself from trying it. I've never felt this bad. I can't afford help from who was my psychologist (I've been trying to fight this all for years) because I barely have enough money to eat. Whatever you can tell me, advice me, etc will be helpful. If any of you would like to talk to me, please tell me. 
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Social anxiety and driving
Anxiety Support / by girl3132
Last post
 April 17th, 2017
...See more Hi everybody. I suffer from social anxiety and even though it was very difficult for me, I went through the process of getting my driving license recently. Driving in the presence of other people triggers my anxiety (and the road is full of people driving other cars) and I can't seem to get rid of that nervousness before I take the car. As soon as I know I have to drive, I get the feeling that I'm not good enough at driving and I'm afraid of making mistakes (being judged, I guess) and hurting myself or other people by not driving properly. Also, because I know I feel insecure before driving, I get to think that driving isn't a good idea because it's not safe to drive insecure (I feel bad for feeling bad?). But, at the same time, when I drive, after driving for a while, the feelings disappear, I  don't think I'm a bad driver anymore and I actually have fun. Then it all starts again the next time I need to take the car.  Learning to drive was a hell because of my anxiety. The thought that it would get better and I would end up knowing how to drive by practicing and confronting that situation kept me from quitting. And I thought that all of the anxiety would be completely gone after getting my license but, even though it is not as bad as it was when I was learning, I still get anxious Does it happen to any of you? Do you have any ideas of how to overcome this? 
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