I was a topper and used to get always 1st rank till my 10th class. There was a fellow with me who used to get always 2nd rank. He was jealous of me.

In starting of 11th class I had some personal and family incidents. So my study got disturbed. That fellow took disadvantages of my situations and bullied and mentally harrased me with his group members. So I couldn't perform well in 12th final exams. And I went in a huge depression and a mental trauma.

Since then I have been failing in all fields of life till today for last 23 years. I had worst academic life after 12th. I have failed in professional life, personal life and social life.

I was betrayed in businesses, suffered financial losses, got cheated in married life.

My 1st wife had a boyfriend before our marriage. After marriage of her brother she divorced me and then got married with her boyfriend. she took money for the divorce in lakhs.

My 2nd wife is money minded. She just took disadvantage of my divorcee status. After marriage only she started fighting and shouting on me and my parents. She left house after 10 months of the marriage and filed fake legal cases in the court. She took money for the settlement of divorce in lakhs.

In Nov 2022 I diagnosed with diabetes.

2nd time Divorce is decided in June 2024. Now I'm 2 times divorcee person.

In August 2024 I came to know that my father has throat cancer. His cancer treatment lasted from Sep 2024 to Oct 2024.

It's been full one year since my father's treatment is over and we came from hospital after the treatment. But I'm feeling life is stuck very badly. No progress, no growth, no improvement. I am not able to decide and start my work for earning.

So my professional life is stuck because of it personal life is stuck so isolating from social life and because of all these impact on mental and physical health.

Update JAN 2026 : Father's reports were done in January 2026 and now disease is showing relapsed again. Since radiation and surgery were not possible, he has been taking ayurvedic medication for the past two months.

Update MAY 2026 : Last MRI scan was done in May 2026. Tumour is increased little. Surgery and radiations were not possible so he is given immuno therapy with medicines.

Update AUG 2026 : Father's reports were done in August 2026 after 3 months of the treatment, tumour is decreased around 30%-40% . Now we are hoping he will be fine soon because tumour is not increased in last three months.

Mostly I remain depressed, sad and lonely. Because of frustration I become short tempered. I am feeling memory loss or short term memory issue. I'm fearing to fail again. I have social anxiety.

Now a days, I have been deeply worried about Papa's health. 😔

My sugar level has also reached around 200 because of constant stress about Papa's health, my professional as well as personal life.!

And yes, Everytime I have tried a lot a lot to forget past and start from new with full energy and full dedication but I have never ever succeed. Some failing pattern has been developed which I can't get rid of it.

I want to get up and fight again and want to come out of all these situations in the battle of life. But I can't. Now I'm mentally exhausted and no energy...🪫

Thank you for reading and giving your precious time..!🙏