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goodWheel8710
1 852 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2021 Member sinceJune 8, 2021
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Relationship struggles
Relationship Stress / by goodWheel8710
Last post
 July 22nd, 2021
...See more When things don’t add up in my head I can’t seem to let them go. No matter how hard I try to forget I just can’t. My boyfriend and I had a disagreement the other day and I can’t se to get it out my mind. I understand where I messed up and acknowledged that but my bf seems that his only problem was me. This is what happened. I was at home and waiting for my bf to open up my garage. I was waving him down but he didn’t notice for a min. When he finally drove up the driveway I stopped him and said “why you got me looking crazy waving all crazy at you to open the garage and what took so long and why you wasn’t paying attention”. He said all he did was look up then look down and that was it. I was like “ok whatever” and left. Not thinking it was a big deal or anything, I walked in the house to my bedroom and got in bed. My bf walks in the bedroom a few seconds behind me and seemed off but I didn’t ask. He went to the bathroom. After I finish greeting our dogs I decide to wash my hands. When I got the the bathroom door it was locked so I unlocked it. It took me a sec to unlock it so my bf finished unlocking it from the inside and then I opened it. Washed my hands and when I left I began to lock the door back. When I locked it and was beginning to close the door back my bf said to me very hastily “what you locking the door for?” And I told him that it was already locked and I was just locking it back. He didn’t like what I said got and then responded with it wasn’t locked cause he didn’t remember locking it and I reiterated that it definitely was locked and reminded him that he helped me unlock it. As I’m closing the door and walking away he responds and say “man I’m not in the mood for your attitude rn”. I just ignored it and got back in bed. Up until then ABSOLUTELY NOTHING was wrong with me. It seemed as if he was projecting his feelings from another situation and telling me I was feeling some type of way when I wasn’t. Then after a few seconds after I had already left the bathroom he said again “man I still don’t even remember locking the door”, no he wasn’t talking to me but I responded and said “yes it was locked”. & that was when he had enough. He told me he felt like I shouldn’t have responded to him while he was talking out loud to himself in the bathroom. He told me that when I walked away from the car when you was tryna talk to me made him upset, which explained why I thought he seemed bothered when he came in the bedroom. I should’ve asked how he was feeling if I noticed, regardless of how I felt about the situation. But he did not recognize nor acknowledge that he was bothered by something and then something else happened and he got super angry for no reason. Cause now it seems that I’m the one who started stuff when it was you who was reacting based off of your feelings. Letting all these things build up and then exploding on me. I can’t continue to be the only one who makes mistakes, reacts before I think about something, or just explodes on you and then acknowledge and apologize for it and MEAN IT. Yes, after I told him that it was locked the first time, his initial response was “I don’t remember locking it but my bad” but right after that he got angry with me and responded that he wasn’t in the mood for my attitude which didn’t make any sense cause I wasn’t angry or anything. It felt like he was angry and wasn’t projecting his feelings properly and when I brought that to his attention he just kept telling me how all of this was my fault cause I responded to things I shouldn’t have. Not how I responded. Not what I responded with. Just what I responded to.
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How can I address this with my partner? Is this a red flag in a relationship?
Relationship Stress / by goodWheel8710
Last post
 July 5th, 2021
...See more My boyfriend dismisses his mistakes. He in a way, turns them into jokes. For example, let’s say we are driving and he misses a turn. When I bring it to his attention he may act like he did it on purpose, saying “I meant to do that” or “I was just taking the scenic route”. No this is something that bothers me, but he says this type of stuff so often that I feel like when it comes to important things, like his mistakes, and I bring it to his attention he just kinda finds a way to dismiss it. He doesn’t really acknowledge the mistake either. Sometimes, he even acts like it didn’t happen and I’m left arguing my word against his and it never goes right. I’m not sure what I can do to get him to understand he does this, bc he just dismisses it, and idk if this is something I can even fix at this point. We’ve been dating for about 5 years and I’m just noticing things like this and it’s hard to get him to be understanding about his mistakes.
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I feel like I’m asking him to do things he doesn’t want to do
Relationship Stress / by goodWheel8710
Last post
 June 22nd, 2021
...See more We’ve been dating for about 5 years. I’m bored with what we’re doing, date wise. All we do is sit and home and half watch movies. We see each other all day long cause we work together and live together so I want us to do things other than sit at home. We don’t do dates as often as we used to. He’s more into his hobbies. I mentioned this to him and he needs time to learn how to balance spending time with me and his hobbies. I don’t understand what changed within the past few years that he has to learn how to make time for us. Before he always put emphasis on making sure we went on frequent dates. Now he’s making al these new plans and routines to exercise and new hobbies but is still struggling with making that same type of time for our relationship. Am I selfish to feel like he should be able to make some time? I’m tired of telling him what he should and shouldn’t be doing for this relationship. I’m very understanding that this is our first serious relationship but he should just know certain things by now.
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