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greenCat829
1 3,012 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 16 Compassion hearts143 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceMarch 12, 2017
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Recent Breakup
Relationship Stress / by greenCat829
Last post
 September 8th, 2022
...See more I am currently struggling with my breakup that happened over a month ago. I really thought he was my person, but I also feel like I put up with a lot during the relationship. He has a demanding job, sometimes working overnight shifts, so I would drop everything and make him a priority on the days he was available. He recently got a new position that would still do overnights sometimes but he knew his schedule a month in advance, so I thought it was great we could plan more or I would see him more. Unfortunately I was still seeing him once a week or sometimes every other week. I really thought the new job would be for the better, but nothing was changing and he was still miserable at the job. I asked him why he felt the need to work a high paying job that was making him miserable when he only needed to support himself. This led to an argument how I don’t understand what it’s like to be a man, throwing in how he is doing it to support his family of four kids. There was no discussion about our future, no communication. It was thrown at me in an argument. Then he became demanding asking if I would have a minimum of four kids. I tried to ask why four kids and why all of a sudden, but he just got angrier. I had been clear at the beginning of our relationship that I would maybe have one kid if my partner really wanted one, but I didn’t like this sudden revelation or how it was brought up. It was his decision to want four kids suddenly, no discussion or compromise with me. It’s perfectly fine to change your mind, but I think the way it was approached really bothered me, and you can’t really guarantee how many kids you are going to have. I am 34 and getting older and thinking of how little I see him, how little we’ve been able to grow because of that, and how if I did agree to have four kids I would be on my own raising these kids because of his work schedule, I decided it was time to part ways. There had been a few red flags over the last two years, so it’s probably for the best, but I am still struggling. I keep thinking I was fine with the way things were if he never mentioned the kids, but I wasn’t happy with how little I saw him anyway. I just don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or difficult in thinking I shouldn’t be with someone who chooses to work a demanding job that makes them miserable and in a bad mood and too busy for me. Am I in the wrong? I am looking to learn from this relationship and move on with my life, but I’m thinking I will not choose another relationship, that being single just works better for me.
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