greenfoliage Member Profile

...See more For a while I felt like some of the guys I liked, liked me back. Even just a little bit. Flirting, playful teasing and overall tension. After all this, I don’t think I was wrong. I’ve learned the hard way that some guys or some people in general, flirt, engage in playful teasing and enjoy the affection but don’t want to commit. I feel like the person they cross paths with to get compliments from, feel amdmired or to feel cherished but don’t want to do the same or when they do, its not genuine and are doing it just to get me to show affection. I’m pretty and attractive enough to hook up with but, not hot enough to brag about it to your friends or date . I feel like the inbetween ,The transitioning person to get love from just to move onto someone or something better and because of this, I feel embarrassed. I enjoy giving compliments to people, admiring people and hooking up with people I find attractive as well. All the while fantasizing about the relationship we could have if only they felt the same because I know for a fact that they are just using me. I was ok with that, being used because, it help fueled the fantasy that they could like me too. I talk about how I’m perfectly ok with casual relationships but now I realize that I’m to much of a hopeless romantic to maintain things like that. I crave something real, pure, authentic. Now, I feel like a ***. Unabashedly, giving my heart and my body to people who don’t feel the same while knowing the truth. With each passing day reaching out for companionship but, it always being out of my grasp or a lie just so they could get use out of me. Idk what I’m asking, why I’m posting this, or what answer I’m trying to get out of this but, I just needed to let this out. Advice maybe? Idk, all I know is that I’m lost.

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