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helloLunch6432
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2025 Member sinceDecember 18, 2025
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Family stress
Relationship Stress / by helloLunch6432
Last post
 December 19th, 2025
...See more Hi, I am new here it is a pleasure to meet everyone. My mother and I have a complicated relationship. I grew up in a very strict house hold, with 6 older brothers and sisters and 1 younger sister. I am the second youngest. My mother had a lot to say in what we did or didn't do. I used to try my best to please her and be an obedient "useful" child. I tried to win her approval and praise all throughout childhood. My mother puts absolute obedience above all else. My  sisters are all afraid of disobeying her. I am also terrified of disobeying her but I have grown tired of obeying her. I recently got a divorce. Something that is a no no in my culture. Women were considered s***s or w****s for getting a divorce. My mother was furious. She yelled. She was so angry. She called me many mean untruthful and hurtful things. She shamed and blamed me and guilt tripped me. She said I would die alone. That no one would ever want me. I told her I didn't care. I just want to live a life of my choosing for once. I didnt want to end up like my older sisters in relationships they hate. Being cheated on left and right and with children they regret having. Being stuck because my mother told them this was the only life that was allowed for women. So I held on to my decision. Even though my chest became tight and I became unable to breathe. From fear. From anxiety. She got all of my brothers and sisters to guilt trip me, to shame me for hurting my mother because my choices are causing her stress. My family and I had a falling out. They disagreed with my causing my mother stress. They blamed me for destroying the family. They hated me as they have told me so. So I cut them all out of my life. Except my mother. She is old. She tells me that I would kill her if I didn't pick up her calls. So I did. For a while, until I learned that she was only fishing for gossip. She tells everyone that I am mean to her and that she never says mean things to me. Which isn't true. She says very hurtful awful things to me. I am at a point where I don't want to talk to her anymore. She is always back to her manipulative ways. Just seeing that she is calling me is a trigger for me. I just can't stay calm. All of the hurt, lies, anger and shame start to come up. I have tried to remain a grey rock and giving short answers without giving much information on my life but then she gets angry when I dont give her what she wants. I am at a point where I am just done. I want to be free of her control. Of these shackles she has on me. But I am afraid her health will be impacted if I cut her off. I am afraid my family will come after me again as they have in the past for causing my mother stress. But I really just don't think I can handle having to talk to her anymore. Any advice would be appreciated. If you've made it this far. Thank you for listening. This is something that I have been holding inside for too long. My nervous system is a wreck. 
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