honestLemon7998 Member Profile

...See more So everything wrong in my life seems to stem from my mother. Well both of my parents but mostly my mother. I'm the second of two kids and she's always made it clear that my brother is the light of her life and since I hit puberty and started having the same issues she does (bpd, bi polar disorder, depression, anxiety, etc) she's SAID she loves me but it's clear to everyone (not just me) that she hates me. And after being raised to be a housewife and take care of others I'm now 31 with a child and living with my parents still despite moving out a couple of times. She has ALWAYS had control over everything I did and has spent my life belittling me to the point where I have 0 self esteem. I don't have the work history to get a job and the ones I COULD get hired for I'm unable to work because they're at night at 1 she wont "watch" my daughter who's 12 and would be asleep 2 I can't work school hours in case my daughter comes home sick and 3 I can't work anywhere that's not within walking distance because I don't have a vehicle and she wont let me use theirs. I also can't work from home because she doesn't consider it a "real job". I'm on welfare and have been for 12 years because I'm also unable to work due to my untreated mental health. But I can't get on social security because she considers that insulting to those that need it. So I live in a home with my daughter where I'm expected to cook and clean and take care of everyone else while handing over every penny I get from welfare and being either passive aggressively ignored or yelled at about how I'm ruining their lives. I have no place to go. Walmart wont even hire me so I can't get section 8 housing because I don't have a way to cover the other 20% of rent if I can get a place. I have no one that can take me in and trying to talk to others about this ends with feeling like a waste of space because people are sick of hearing me complain. Everyone expects me to just magically get a job and move out like it's the easiest thing. Most days I can't even bring myself to drag my ass out of bed in the morning. I'm so lonely and I don't know what to do....

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