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hopefulrabbit33
1 55 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2020 Member sinceOctober 14, 2020
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What is depression and how do I know if I have it?
General Support / by hopefulrabbit33
Last post
 October 15th, 2020
...See more I am really, really tired these days. I find myself not doing my assessments, handing them in very late (like the two that I am supposed to be doing now). I don't know if it's me just being lazy or procrastinating, but I just can't find the motivation to do anything right now. This also happened around the same time last two years. I mean I've been fine at the beginning of this year even though we had to go to online classes, I was even keeping up to date with all my lectures and readings and even with the assessments. But just this latter half of the year is bringing me down. I don't know if it's essentially depression that I have as I haven't been to any sort of services that may give me answers (I don't know if it is due to me not knowing how to find these services or if it is because of how my parents may react and stuff). I only have about 2 weeks left before I finish this semester and I don't want to place push myself back again by failing 2 of my classes. I just want to get things done and over with. I usually would message the lecturer about my problems of doing some assessments and apologizing for handing them in late, but right now, it is so late that I don't know if an email is even worth sending in. As I said before, I haven't been to any services, so when my lecturers ask for some sort of medical cert as evidence I don't have anything to provide because it's just my words. Some understand my struggle and give me extensions, but yeah. How do get myself diagnosed or get checked if I'm depressed or something? And right now I'm just so sad, because I want to do well and just pass this semester and be done and over with it, but whatever this thing that's holding me back isn't helping at all. I find myself unable to do anything but stay in bed and scroll through my phone, or sometimes I just lay there doing nothing. I'm just so tired that I don't know what to do anymore. And because I'm like going to be the first to graduate university in my family, the pressure to finish is very high since they all know that my last year is next year. I have friends I can talk to, but I feel like a broken record player always telling them about the same problems that I'm facing. I don't want to burden anyone since I know they have their own problems that they're also facing. I sometimes play things off as a joke, but I think I'm really close to burning out. Sometimes I just want to sleep and then fade away from existence. I know that sounds negative and stuff, but I'm safe.
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