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humorousStrawberries2096
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2021 Member sinceDecember 21, 2020
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How to break the cycle
Relationship Stress / by humorousStrawberries2096
Last post
 January 5th, 2021
...See more My boyfriend has terrible emotional regulation. He gets angry over the tiniest things. Once he's set off he can't stop for hours. He yells, points out everything I do wrong and tells me my perceptions and feelings are wrong. If I try to disengage he follows me and tries to get me engaged. Fighting back escalates things and ends up in circular arguments. We've tried to come up with ways for me to let him know he's going overboard but in the moment he says I'm trying to control him or just doesn't do what we agreed upon. He will later admit he lost control and has trouble recognizing it. Then he spends a day trying to make up with me. I'm a sensitive person and grew up with a lot of trauma. At this point I'm frankly scared to talk to him about anything more than small talk, even that can be tricky. This is totally damaging, not just our relationship but me. I'm having increased urges to self harm and passive suicidal ideation. Oh and he doesn't believe in therapy for him or me. I am not ready to leave, I've tried before and don't feel at that point, as his issues stem from his own diagnosis and trauma. Any ideas of how to break this cycle?
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