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igruaminion
4,449
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Number of ratings22 Number of reviews9 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceJan 25, 2016 Last activeover 6 months ago GenderMale PathStep 29 People helped29 Chats59 Group support chats6 Listener group chats1 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes17
Bio
Hey, I'm John :) I've had all sorts of nasty and terrible things inside my head (anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and others) and over the years I've slowly got the better of each and every one in one way or another, so if you're struggling, I've probably been through something like it myself, and found a way to survive, somehow ;) Apparently I'm good with matters of the heart too, so if you're trying to make sense of yourself after a break-up I might have a wise word or two :)
Recent forum posts
Does anyone think that there's more than one 'kind' of depression?
Depression Support / by igruaminion
Last post
April 8th, 2016
...See more I don't know about you guys, but I can't help but feel that just the label of 'depression' doesn't really do things justice in describing how someone feels. I mean if you take a physical illness like say, loss of appetite for food, although that might be the effect, there's always a deeper description to explain the cause, say, food poisoning, or a flu virus, or some kind of infection. And it just seems that saying someone has depression, is just like saying they've lost an appetite for life, but without the deeper description you'd otherwise get with a physical loss of appetite. Plus the worst feeling in the world, is feeling sad but not having a clue what the cause is, which is exactly what depression can do and only leads to feeling even more lost and depressed. Currently I've come up with three different 'types' of depression. There's almost certainly more, but these are the ones I've stumbled upon just through experience: Type 1) Essentially this is when you just think so little of yourself, that feel you have absolutely nothing to give to the world, no sense of place, purpose or belonging, like every feeling you have is just weighing you down, dragging its heels all "but what's the point in trying? It's not like we're going to amount to anything? We're so awful/fat/pointless etc that nobody's going to like us". Type 2) This is where you've more or less forgotten how to feel things outright. It's not that you 'hate' anything or feel really negatively about anything, it's almost that, your psychological immune system has just got so exhausted, feeling awful things for the past few months or years or whatever it my be, that all feelings are just shut down and, you're pretty much just an empty shell drifting across the currents of life, I suppose. Type 3) With this one, you still have the ability to feel, but only one emotion, and that's the one of death. That, somewhere along the line you've had a traumatic experience or severe panic attack perhaps, and just, that reptillian urge to worry about your survival, just got a strong and so intense that once it ignited from that point, it's just never burnt out and it's just all you can think about from this point. You just see nothing but death and decay inside you, and therefore nothing but death and decay all around you, and there's no 'off switch' you can hit to see nothing but life again. It seems that the unifying factor in all instances, is effectively a vicious circle of feeling hopeless/powerless, which leads to seeing little point in life, which then leads to feeling hopeless and powerless as a response, causing you to feel little point in life as a response to that, and that snowballing and snowballing until every day you have to battle through an avalanche. That's the underlying essence of the feeling, but I just think that if we're really gonna get the better of this thing, it really might help if we can collect and categorise all the known causes. I'd love your thoughts on it anyway :) Feel free to add any other types, if you've seen them around :)
Feedback & Reviews
Read through my long rant and provided good feedback, very grateful.
Thank you igruaminion :D
I really appreciate the help and the patience to willingly listen to me vent. Your presence brings peace to my heart that I am not misunderstood, and that you help me process my thoughts so I come to safe and reasonable decisions. Thank you...many many thanks. I hope you have a great day today.
Extremely helpful and very understanding. It was great having someone to simplify all of the things I had to say and help me think clearly. Thank you so much!
Incredibly kind and insightful. Thank you so much.
very nice, helpful and emphatic person. thank you!
Made me feel safe and didn't judge me a really great person thank u
I was having a bad time and this listener helped rationalize my thoughts and calmed me down. I highly recommend them.
Great help and wonderful to talk to :)
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