iloverockyoulovelive Member Profile

...See more ive began to notice that im not a good person at aaaaaalll.. I whine and complain about how lonely I am all the time and then I purposefully isolate myself from my friends and peers. I don't even know whether I like the people I'm closest to, even if they offer me endless support and love, I feel numb. I'm selfish I'm ignorant and I lack any real empathy but I still want to be a good person in everyone's eyes so I paint myself to be oblivious and pitiful. I hate myself for even becoming such a horrible person. My hatred towards myself gnaws at my very existence everyday and it lingers at the back of my mind no matter what I do or where I go. I feel like everything horrible that's ever happened to me in the past is just an excuse for me to be this way. I've tried to fix myself. I've tried to surround myself with more people. I've tried to socialize. Nothing works. I've done this my whole life and I've never once felt truly content nor happy. I don't even think I want to get better, I just want to rant about everything that's going on in my life. Am I hopeless is there even a sliver of a chance I can become a better person If anyone has any advice on how to improve myself that'd be sosososoo helpful, thank u for reading ♡

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