impartialShade7562 Member Profile

...See more Alright guys hold on this is gonna be a long one. So, several years ago I made a friend. We got along great, still do. About a year into the relationship, they asked me out, romantically. I said no, primarily because I'd had a previous relationship issue where I'd gone out with a different friend who was way more into me than I was to them. That one didn't necissarily end badly (I'm still good friends with that person), but it made me realize I had a lot of trouble differentiating between romantic love and strong platonic affection. At the time this new person asked me out, I was still sort of reeling from that and had decided I stood firmly under the grey-aromantic umbrella. So I've just been thinking about it for a long time. Which is an issue, becuase that's never happened before. That first relationship I'd been worried over? We'd gotten over that breakup on the same day. I've never thought twice about it (of course I didn't, I was never more invested in that than I was in any friendship, and we're still friends, so nothing really happened). But this one keeps bugging me (even though, again, my rejection did nothing to change the fact that we're very close friends) and the fact that it does...says something, doesn't it? I've never liked sombody beyond platonic affection before, so I wouldn't know if I'm just being weird and emotional or legitimately romantically interested. So that's issue number one, I guess. Issue number two is, of course, what to do if I do think it's a romantic interest. I obviously know they were interested at some point, they asked me out, but it's been like a year and a half (maybe). I don't even know if we'd be a compatible couple. They're very into the dating scene (tinder and such), and definitely not afraid of sex. I'm a virgin, and not above saying that the idea of sex is daunting (not to mention we're now seperated physically due to college). And I'd always imagined if I so much as went out on a nice dinner date it would be because I was gunning for a long term relationship (as in married with 2.5 kids and a dog, long term relationship). I guess it's the same problem I've always had, which is the idea that I'm incapable of providing what my partner needs (whether it's returning a romantic interest or actual physical contact). I actually don't imagine I'd have an issue if we needed to keep an open relationship to keep them physically sated, but why would I bother with that when I could just let them go and be happier with someone who checks all the boxes? I mean, I don't even know if they'd still be interested, they might have decided I'm not viable now that we only see each other on break, or they might have completely gotten over me, and then wouldn't I be an asshole, coming back two years later like 'yeah anyway about that I might be interested now?' And that's fine, like I wouldn't be remotely bothered by a rejection, I certainly didn't expect them to wait for me, nor was I ever going to ask them to. I just don't want to come across like I'm still expecting requited affection after so long and sounding like an entitled, self-absorbed ass. It's a little complicated. I keep trying to tell myself the best thing to do is to let it go, but something keeps me worrying about loosing this chance, or if I've aready lost it. It's making me sick to my stomach (you know that black hole that sits low in your stomach and eats you from the inside? Yeah that one) and I don't like it at all, to be quite honest. My college is emotionally exhausting as it is, I don't need to be pining on top of it; I need to figure out whether to set it aside again or to do something about it, but I need to do it quickly and I trust myself a lot but I'd love some more, ah, experienced opinions on the matter. Thank ya'll so much!

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