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indigoAcai8634
83 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2020 Member sinceNovember 17, 2020
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confused
Relationship Stress / by indigoAcai8634
Last post
 November 22nd, 2020
...See more Hi everyone ,this is my first time at this so not entirley sure what to say but here goes anyway,be nice to hear your thoughts on my situation. I am a single recently come out gay man ,was married before but am now divorced. Like allot of gay men I have chatted to a few men online over the years ,now since i have been single I have decided I want to settle down again but with a guy. Back in January i got chatting to a guy online whi was in a very similar situation to me , we were both divorced and we both had kids from our relationships so instanyly we had a mutual interest. We started chatting online daily and slowly getting to know each other sharing stories and life events. We would message each other 3 or 4 times a day and chat for ages ,the converstaions were great and I really enjoyed our chats. About 2 or 3 months into our chats things started to get more exciting and our feelings for each other got stronger and we started to tell each other things that we wouldnt tell anyone else as we had built up that trust already. His feelings for me were as strong as mine and it looked as if there was a possible love relationship in the making. Just as a note he had never been with a man before so was all new to him. Things were great ,our chats were exciting and fun and the more we chatted the more I was falling for him . At this point we had still not met as we didnt live in the same place so made it a bit more difficut to meet but our online chats kept going as normal. Shortly after he got scared and wasnt sure if he wanted to persue a love relationship and wanted us to rather just stay very good friends. We agreed to slow things down and keep our chats on a more friendship basis rather than a sexual basis ,I did not want to loose him as a friend even though I had such strong feelings for him and he also had the same feelings for me but wasnt sure how to act on them. Covid came along and made meeting up even more difficult as we had planned on meeting up but unfortunately never happened. We still chatted everyday , I was there for him and he was there for me ,by now he had become such a close and special friend it was nice to have someone to share things with even though at the back of my mind I wanted more. We have now been chatting for nearly a year and have got to know each other very well and our friendship has grown but recently he went and changed the dinamics and told me he has met another guy. This obviusly took me by surprise as I honestly thought that we would be together one day as we had such strong feelings for each other. My dilehma was how to respond to the situation , do I be a supportive friend and he happy for him or do I walk away as I knew things would not be the same anymore. Our chats started getting less and the converstions had changed and this was upsetting me allot as I thought we would still be able to be close like we were before . I deicided to be a supportive friend and was there for him even though it was hurting me allot but I didnt want to loose him as a friend. He still makes time to chat with me now and we do on the odd occassion have long chats like we did before so in that respect I do think he still wants me around . I am not sure what to do really , I love the guy so much but I know he is with someone , the fact we had never met makes it harder as I believe had we met things would be very different. Am I hanging onto false hope and wanting somethimg out of my reach or do I be patient and be his friend and stand by him through this as its all new and exciting for him and Im scared he gets hurt so he will need someone to turn to should it not work out. My feelings are all over the place , I look at my phone everyday to see if he has messaged me but some days i hear nothing from him so it plays on my mind allot. So basically this is my story ,any advise would be greatly appreciated.
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