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indigoRaspberries4343
1 78 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2026 Member sinceFebruary 27, 2026
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Overthinking and shame
Work & Career / by indigoRaspberries4343
Last post
 February 27th
...See more I just asked my boss if it was okay to make a salary adjustment based on inflation (my pay has been fixed for about two years). I made the mistake of asking directly through a direct message — we've talked about similar things in the past and I thought there was some level of confidence between us, since he's told us before that we can speak freely with him about these things. I don't think he took it well. He said that wasn't the right way to ask, and then explained that the company was going through a tough time (it's a small company and they've lost clients, now i know). I told him that was exactly why I had come to him directly — I simply didn't know about the situation. I also clarified that I hadn't given it much weight because I was talking about roughly a 2% adjustment, not an actual raise. Ten minutes later, he sent an email to me and two of my coworkers saying that I had brought up the inflation issue, that the company was going through a difficult period, but that he was going to give everyone an 8% pay increase anyway. The whole interaction left me confused — I never even got the chance to fully explain what I was originally asking. I told him several times that if it was a problem he could simply dismiss the request, but he said it was valid, while also telling me I should be more careful about how I ask for things — because "in another place they would have told you to f*** off." So in short: I ended up confused about why he reacted the way he did, while simultaneously giving raises to people who had nothing to do with my situation. I don't even know why I'm so affected by this since it technically "ended well," but now I feel genuinely ashamed and anxious. I'm also worried about how this might affect my future at the company, since I really need this job due to family health issues — which was the original reason money started to feel tight. If you made it this far, thank you so much, and I'm sorry for being extra.
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