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indigoVase5242
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 16, 2021
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Venting about crushing on my closest friend
Relationship Stress / by indigoVase5242
Last post
 March 1st, 2021
...See more *why i havent confessed* He's one of my closest friends. Im 15. He's 16. So main thing is age. I have told myself I am not dating until the age of 18. Or at most, 17. Another thing. Mixed signals. When we are alone or theres only like 4 ppl he sits super near me in like a very non just a friend way and we can talk hours and hours about literally anything. He acts really overly friendly which is not normal for him. (Nothing too obvious tho) And when we are talking he holds eye contact for really long time. If I ever go to church (he lives in one of those houses on church grounds) and I text him im there he'll always go out to greet me and say "woAh what you doing here " But when we are in like our Youth Group (church he's a pastor kid) he just goes to talk with legit everyone BUT me and basically ignores me and when I go to start conversations which dont last long and he goes back to literally talking to everyone except me. Even if it's just like a huge friend group that goes out, he'll barely ever talk to me. It feels like if there's other people around he doesnt even notice im there. Recently because of COVID, his brother, him, and I have all become like super close. We hop on discord everyday from 8am to 10pm. Granted, we aren't always at our desk, but we stay in call. Sometimes for school (we go to different highschools), sometimes for games. We chat everyday and its been like this since 2020 summer. It started out as a dm call between me and him all day, but when school started I didn't hesitate to just make a discord server with the three of us. **This started the teasing** I'm fairly young so I might just be overthinking everything but we started making jokes while playing games. The occasional "You suck" "Fuck you" Turned into "You suck" / "stupid" "Fuck you" "No fuck you" "Go fuck yourself" "Nahhh you go fuck urself" "Man idk how to do that" "I dont know either" This went from occasional to everytime someone said "you suck" or "stupid" or something along the lines of that. Ofcourse, it could be nothing, but my dumb subconscious tells me normal people don't do that. **this only happens between me and him, his brothers just in the game chilling while we cuss each other out** Last Thing. DENYING. We are SUPER close. Like really close friends. Around 2019 there was a rumor that I liked him that went around for over 4 months. At that time I was in denial think no way I like him so I kept saying no. (I know i wouldve been teased or got ignored by some, which i avoid at all costs cause I value other peoples opinion more than mine. ) It pissed me off everyone thought I liked him but not viceversa. (Some did but very few) Even he knows that I said no to liking him cause again when we are talking abt stuff I have told him how pissed I am for ppl assuming I like him when I dont. Now that I've accepted it, theres no way imma confess. Either way hes not gonna confess if he did like me cause I told him I didnt like him. Im just going to wait it out until my feeling for him go away. Its only been 3 years so it shouldnt be that bad.
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A little venting thoughts and opinions would be nice
Relationship Stress / by indigoVase5242
Last post
 February 16th, 2021
...See more Why i haven't thought about confessing. He's one of my closest friends. Im 15. He's 16. So main thing is age. I have told myself I am not dating until the age of 18. Or at most, 17. Another thing. Mixed signals. When we are alone or theres only like 4 ppl he sits super near me in like a very non just a friend way and we can talk hours and hours about stuff only he/I know. He acts really overly friendly which is not normal for him. (Nothing too obvious tho) And when we are talking he holds eye contact for really long time. But when we are in like our Youth Group (church he's a pastor kid) he just goes to talk with legit everyone BUT me and basically ignores me and i have to start conversations which dont last long. Even if it's just like a huge friend group that goes out, he'll barely ever talk to me. Last Thing. DENYING. We are SUPER close. Like really close friends. Around last summer there was a rumor that I liked him that went around for over 4 months. At that time I was in denial think no way I like him so I kept saying no. (I know i wouldve been teased or got ignored by some, which i avoid at all costs cause I value other peoples opinion more than mine. ) It pissed me off everyone thought I liked him but not viceversa. (Some did but very few) Even he knows that I said no to liking him cause again when we are talking abt stuff I have told him how pissed I am for ppl assuming I like him when I dont. Now that I've accepted it, theres no way imma confess. Either way hes not gonna confess if he did like me cause I told him I didnt like him. Im just going to wait it out until my feeling for him die. Its only been 3 years so it shouldnt be that bad.
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