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intuitiveLion9549
1 191 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2025 Member sinceApril 25, 2025
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Need advice about relationships with presumably bipolar
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by intuitiveLion9549
Last post
 June 11th, 2025
...See more Hey! I’m not bipolar, but I’m struggling with hyperfixation on a person who presumably has it. Here’s the story, I need to hear an opinion from somebody else because my thoughts are killing me to the point I have difficulties at work and headache. And overall I feel pain in the whole body due to this rejection or whatever it is. So I met a guy on a dating app. We chatted for several days and I enjoyed every second of it. He is fun, quick witted, unusual, weird yes, but I like it. I like the looks too. All those days I was swimming in a dopamine pool. Felt so good. Then we met. I’m pretty shy with new people, but he was understanding, supportive and sweet and fun. So the first date was a bit awkward, but felt great in the end. He mentioned the second date during the first one. Then asked in a day or two when we meet again. So it should have happened in 4-5 days after the first date. That was the plan. Then he cancelled it due to work. The next plan was cancelled due to “low energy”. Before that he mentioned adhd and bipolar in chat but people these days tend to misuse it and you never know if it’s a joke, excuse or a real condition. So he said that he is in his withdrawal mood, he’s not for people these days and that the down times are coming. I asked what do they look like. The answer was that he disappears from everywhere for about a week and then comes back to people’s lives pretending nothing happened. So I said that I understand and as our connection is important to me, let’s postpone the second date. He agreed saying the he doesn’t want to be *** with me and it’s better for him to postpone. Then I went silent for a day, but figured it’s *** not to maintain the contact at all. So I sent a meme. He replied and we chatted almost as usual. I asked if he’s ok with chatting, he said yes and that he just can’t see people. We chatted every day for about a week. And it seeemed to me that he was coming back to normal. He texted first one day, was making jokes etc. But the next day he replied to my messages late at night. And then my next messages are left unread. I just answered his messages and sent a meme. I was trying not to push. Never asked how are you feeling or when we meet. Just chatting about neutral things mostly. I see that he’s online and reposting memes like 10 times a day. But my messages are not read for 10 days now. When I read our chat over again these days I see this descent in the mood. At first the messages were long and quick, and just I don’t know… I read it as a book, because they are smart and interesting. The same was at the date. Full of energy and ideas. Then he started being more reserved, a bit rude even. And now disappeared on me at all. So I don’t think that he’s simulating or something but we didn’t discuss directly like he has bipolar or adhd or something else. When we were chatting in the beginning of his down times he mentioned that he just goes to gym and stares at screen to prepare himself go back to the world. So, I don’t know how to take this. It’s been 10 days of silence and almost a month since the first cancellation of a second date. I understand that we’re not in relationships. Moreover we both don’t want to be in classic relationships, just spending some good time together once in a while. But it all stopped in the very beginning. And I don’t know if he comes back, and it’s torturing me. Should I accept it as rejection and move on? Honestly I don’t want that, it will be hard, because I really like this person in many ways. I’m attracted to him and feel warmth when he’s around. But I hate bothering people, and I don’t want to intrude on their personal space and make things worse.
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Divorce after 11 years together
Relationship Stress / by intuitiveLion9549
Last post
 April 26th, 2025
...See more several days ago my husband and I decided to get divorced. We have been together for 11 years (now I’m 33), no kids. We’ve been through so many things together, he is my family. I made a mistake and cut off contacts with my friends and concentrated all my communication energy on him for the last years. I thought I married my best friend. And I don’t know, I just didn’t want to talk or be in life of other people (even with my mom when she was alive). I told him almost everything, we always laughed a lot, but the problem between us is the following: It’s not passionate love from my side. He wants to hug me and touch me often and I don’t feel like it very often and I have to reject him physically. Emotionally I’m there with him, ready to talk all night about what’s bothering him e.g., but when it comes to hugging kissing every day it’s mechanical for me, I don’t feel anything. Sex is rare too, but when it happens it feels good for me. He says that he doesn’t feel that I love him. I think I do, but in my own way. For me it’s emotional connection, partnership etc. So it was rather his decision to get divorced, but I actually understand that I’m in comfort zone, but not happy in this marriage too. At least , I think I can have a better life alone or with someone else. I think that the reason why I don’t want him physically is that I expected him to be a certain person and do certain things, but that’s not what he is. So I collected grievances because I couldn’t do certain things because of him. And he is tired and drained to wait when I change and become a different person. The situation is complicated now because we have to live in one apartment and go to the same job (our small business), and we don’t live in our country. We left 3 years ago because of war. It’s not safe to come back for both of us. We don’t have a home there. And we couldn’t assimilate very well here. All we have here is us and our business to make a living. We decided to close it, but now to work hard for 2 more months to collect some money and then each of us is going their way. We don’t hate each other and possibly can become friends some day, but now… I feel like my leg is being cut slowly. I don’t know how to communicate with him while we’re not separated. I want to share my feelings with him, because that’s the habit of 11 years together. He’s near, but absent. Every little or big thing reminds me of our life together, and it hurts me so deeply that it ended. This new country we live in is full of memories about us, not me and my memories. So I don’t know how to survive these 2 months and what’s coming after
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