intuitivePenguin4529 Member Profile

Should I unfollow? (Breakup after 4 1/2 years)

Relationship Stress / by intuitivePenguin4529

February 4th, 2025

...See more Hi everyone! below is the context to the breakup that i’ve posted before: “my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up with me officially over text earlier. We were meant to just be on a break to reassess because he wanted to break up, and then we were going to meet up in person to speak to each other after a month. Well... he sent me a whole paragraph earlier officially ending things, saying he's sorry and that there's nothing wrong with me but he can't be there for me emotionally and mentally. He said he doesn't regret the 4 1/2 years and thinks its best that we don't meet up in person anymore.. I haven't replied and I may never reply because the past few days I really started to see him in a different light. The amount of times i've tried to justify his behaviour towards me, the effort I poured in when I barely got even the bare minimum and then the disrespect when he told me he wanted to break up a few days before i leave for my home country for the month when he knows I haven't been home in over 5 years.” I posted this a month ago. now he’s making new songs and posting a lot compared to when we were in a relationship, and it doesn’t bother me that he’s writing love songs because I don’t know who it’s about to be honest but I’m not sure if I should unfollow or block him? The way he ended the relationship was a disrespect towards me and I use that as my closure now. I’m asking this because I feel like I shouldn’t really keep his energy around, I feel like he thinks i’m okay with things ending the way they did because I didn’t unfollow or block him? if anyone can offer advice because i’m torn right now, there’s a part of me that wants to leave him unblocked so he can see my posts and maybe regret what he’s done (I rarely post though so Idk if that even matters) but then there’s a part of me that would rather just leave everything behind and not keep things open, because he still has access to me when maybe he shouldn’t? so it’s pretty conflicting… i hope someone understands why im torn about this lol

Breakup after 4 1/2 years

Relationship Stress / by intuitivePenguin4529

January 4th, 2025

...See more Hi everyone, my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years broke up with me officially over text earlier. We were meant to just be on a break to reassess because he wanted to break up, and then we were going to meet up in person to speak to each other after a month. Well… he sent me a whole paragraph earlier officially ending things, saying he’s sorry and that there’s nothing wrong with me but he can’t be there for me emotionally and mentally. He said he doesn’t regret the 4 1/2 years and thinks its best that we don’t meet up in person anymore.. I haven’t replied and I may never reply because the past few days I really started to see him in a different light. The amount of times i’ve tried to justify his behaviour towards me, the effort I poured in when I barely got even the bare minimum and then the disrespect when he told me he wanted to break up a few days before i leave for my home country for the month when he knows I haven’t been home in over 5 years. i haven’t let this ruin our holiday because I’m really trying to keep myself positive around my family but this really hurts. I trusted him so much and he was my best friend but he couldn’t even wait until we speak in person to tell me this. I don’t believe I deserve this as I treated him so well :( I really tried to atleast give him the space he wants but I can’t and won’t beg him to stay anymore. I’m taking this as a blessing in disguise for the start of 2025. I respect myself so much more to just walk away in silence and be better by myself. Any kind of support would be appreciated <3

Missing him no contact

Relationship Stress / by intuitivePenguin4529

December 27th, 2024

...See more Hi all, been feeling really down lately and have been missing my boyfriend during our no contact break… he decided he wanted a break up after 4 1/2 years and i offered the alternative for just a break until after i’m back from my home country. I thought he’d wish me merry christmas or something but he hasn’t reached out… its been over a week since we’ve last spoken to each other and i’m missing talking to him more and more each day. I know I should put him in the back of my head but It’s hard, I’m trying to honour his need for time and space but can’t help but feel overwhelmed and unwanted. during the day, I feel okay since i’m with family but at night I find it hard to sleep because I’m thinking about him. About how he’s doing without me, is he okay, is he having a great christmas, things like that. I hope we can work things out when i’m back which is next month but I know that it’s not on me to break the no contact to wish him a merry christmas or a happy new years. So im definitely keeping my silence and giving him the space. it just hurts because everything was so normal and happy before and he decided to make that decision just before I leave for the holidays :(( i’m trying my best to enjoy my time with family but really am getting in my head about things now. Its hard to not get upset when it came so suddenly… any advice and support would be appreciated :(

Relationship break after 4 1/2 years

Relationship Stress / by intuitivePenguin4529

December 21st, 2024

...See more Hi all, I’d just like to gain some insights from people on here regarding my situation. I apologize if this is a bit long. So i’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years, been through college, travelling and so many memories together. i truly see him as my partner and bestfriend. We’d always talk about the future, getting married, kids and he wrote songs about me. I’ve never felt more safe and comfortable being myself around him. We recently graduated from college, and he decided to join training for the guards straight after and I decided to take a year off before pursuing my masters as I felt severely burnt out. I’m so so proud of him and I love being here to support him as his cheerleader. Recently, I felt like I was giving a lot more effort than he was in the relationship but I always just said it’s because he has his career to prioritize right now so I was okay with it. I always tried to call him to check up on him, how his day was going and tried my best to show my appreciation. At one point, I started to feel lonely? He was drinking with his friends and I was waiting for a call even if it was a little late, I waited. I was happy he was enjoying his time but I couldn’t stop the feeling of craving his attention a little bit more, you know? I was waiting sometimes hours for a text back or i’d expect a call after his night and he’d forget or just be too tired. anyway, i tried to understand and he made time for me once a week. I cleared off my schedule to have Saturdays specifically for him. And that was our time to spend together. Whenever we’d spend time together, he was always feeling tired and I just wanted to be in his presence, ofcourse I wanted physical intimacy but I knew he was exhausted so I never pushed for it. After many weeks of trying to life his spirits up, i got a little upset because when I do see him I just wanted him to show some love. It never turned into a fight or an argument but i’d express my feelings and he’d apologize and say he was just really tired. Then after that, we’d decided on a day after his stage 1 training where we’ll have a sleepover. I was super excited, even called him to bring his big snoodie so we can cuddle and be comfortable. He picks me up after work and then parks near my house and then all of a sudden says “I think we need to break up”. I didn’t get any clues that he was feeling anything negative that day so it absolutely broke me. He explained that he has been feeling emotionally distant the past few weeks and feels he couldn’t be there for me emotionally and physically. I reassured him that it was okay because I understood that he was always exhausted and apologized if I ever did or said anything to make him upset. I practically begged for him to give us a second chance, which probably made me look so dumb. We were just crying together and even though I was upset I couldn’t bring myself to yell at him or get mad at him… I left after a little while and broke down in front of my mom. I called my friend and she said I should call him again and talk it out. So we called again two hours later, I offered the alternative that maybe he just needs a break. Give him time and space because he’s overwhelmed and stressed and maybe I was adding to that. So i told him that time and space away from me might help him think. As much as it hurts me, it might be what he needs.. and it’s a decision that I’m also a part of because it allows me to think too. we agreed to some ground rules like no contact, and no talking, texting or seeing other people. I’ll be gone for a month to my home country (the timing also wasn’t the best because I’m leaving in a few days), so after I’m back we can reassess. We have a set date to talk about everything. I’m anxious, hurt and overwhelmed because I feel like throwing away 4 1/2 years of happiness together all of a sudden doesn’t sit right with me.. I wish he could have talked to me about how he was feeling instead of letting it build up and settling with breaking up as the conclusion. I love and care about him so much, but I know that I should prepare for the worst and hope for the best. it will suck not talking to him while I’m in my home country, I have so many things I wanna show him but this might be what he needs… how do I deal with this? could he come back to me potentially? I don’t really know how to feel at the moment because sometimes i’d just randomly break down and start crying, I also don’t wanna ruin the holiday for my family so I’m trying to stay positive. any advice is appreciated <3

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