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intuitiveWater9305
12,284 M Pacing Forward 7
PathStep 159 Compassion hearts190 Forum posts72 Forum upvotes71 Current upvotes71 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2021 Member sinceJuly 4, 2017
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Unemployed for 2 years, going back
General Support / by intuitiveWater9305
Last post
 March 28th, 2020
...See more Hi. Long post here. 4 concerns. You can just scan the headings then pick one concern to read. Thank you for any responses. 1. How common is office politics and bullying? What should I do if it happens to me? I've managed to avoid it in school by staying low-key, but I also don't want to live that way anymore. I lived with someone unpredictable for years and ruined my boundaries because of it, making adjustments just to appease them. Part of me is scared I won't fight back, to put it crudely. Part of me is scared that because I'm tired of trying to appease other people, I'll do the opposite: I'll fight back, overdo it, get my reputation tarnished, and ultimately ruin my career. I guess I'm average enough to blend in, except for my 2-year unemployment history, my shelteredness (I don't go out much, so my street smarts are as bad as my social skills) and my financial situation (my lifestyle is simple, my immediate family is not rich, but I studied in a rather expensive university so people tend to assume I'm comfortable dining at places where the average cost for a meal is higher than what I usually get or that I'm as high-functioning as others from my alma mater). 2. If someone asks me why I was unemployed for 2 years, what should I answer? I usually say I freelance or work online, which is exaggerated truth, but it only works for brief encounters. I imagine that if a co-worker asks me about that, there would be follow-up questions. I used to not care about these things at all. Before I graduated and officially became unemployed, I used to think, "if I get judged, so be it" but now, I'm worried that it won't stop at judging and escalate into avoidance and discrimination, if not bullying. 3. How do I stop "freezing" in a social situation? I'm afraid of getting embarrassed but I'm also used to bottling up. I guess the rational advice would be to set boundaries and tell someone not to do something if it makes me uncomfortable, but part of me is uncomfortable revealing what makes me uncomfortable. It feels like shouting to a crowd, "can nobody please snatch my bag, I have a sprained ankle, I can't run after you" when there could be a thief among them. 4. I'm not sure I have enough competence overall. Sure, I have some strengths, but I'm not sure they'll outshine my weaknesses, especially in a workplace. I've never been good with time pressure. I also find it difficult to finish something I have issues with. (Even if I know that their KPI for a good article is SEO readability, reach, and all that, I get existential whenever I think of the fact that something "much better" could be created. I put in quotation marks because I used to think it was simply greater comprehensiveness, better writing, or the importance of the topic, but these days I'm not even sure anymore.) Add to this how commuting is already stressful for me because I have motion sickness, my eyesight is bad, and I can't always get on from a terminal or bus stop so I'd have to squint reading signs, miss rides, and get outrun by those with better eyesight. I have eyeglasses, but they're only good for a few months every time. If I were to do any sort of field work, I'd also worry and need to prepare extra early because I have a bad sense of direction.
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Why did listener ratings change?
Newbie Hub / by intuitiveWater9305
Last post
 October 31st, 2018
...See more I found the old format helpful (professionalism, empathy, response time, and helpfulness iirc) because it helped me during the times I was looking for specific types of listeners (empathy for when I needed a listening ear, helpfulness when I needed advice, response time when I'm less patient than usual). Why was it changed? I was away from 7cups for a few months. Would help explanations from the 7cups team. Thank you. I just want to know.
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I took the courage to open the door, but behind it... was another door!
Anxiety Support / by intuitiveWater9305
Last post
 September 3rd, 2017
...See more Hoping for inputs from everyone here! So I just came from roughly eight weeks of anxiousness. My mind is a little bit clearer now but I feel like the slightest thing could bring it back. My story is, I've graduated college last May and am currently unemployed. Although I got an internship offer already that may open up to other positions in the company, I cannot finalize the contract just yet (and my application was approved exactly a month ago). The reason for this is that I still do not have the overwhelming documents needed. It took much energy for me to apply, but when I was finally approved, I realized there were even more things I had to do that I didn't know about! I know I have to sift through this "unlocked" to-do list but just thinking about it is being faced with the risk of relapsing into anxiousness again. What I'm hoping from this thread are funny stories of the unexpected. (I tried to make both the thread title and the thread post funny but I think I did better with the former.) Of course if you have a story but don't think it's that funny, I'd appreciate that as well. I just don't want to feel so alone in this, being faced with something right after thinking that's all there is to it.
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