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j1minah
112 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2019 Member sinceJanuary 24, 2019
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It's hard to get back on track.
Eating Disorder Support / by j1minah
Last post
 January 26th, 2019
...See more After eating once a day on intermittent fasting not even [calories edited by 24Help1] in order to lose some weight and binging afterwards on a whole bag of chocolate cookies.... it's honestly hard and scary. I've led myself into insult resistance and was pre-diabetic because of the insane amount of sugar my body wanted and had. And now It's scary to let yourself go because i have the mentality of 'calories in = calories out' which is completely BS. It's scary to eat three full meals. And more scary is to want some more after a full plate of food because 'you'll get fat that you won't even fit into your new jeans'. I've completely ruined my relationship with food because all i can think about food is how many calories there are and whether it's good for you or not. I can't enjoy a slice of white bread even tho i like it because it's carbs or whatever. This whole diet culture is so dumb i wanna scream. I wish just to be happy, to feel my hunger cues, to eat without thinking about calories and just eat because i want so whenever i want to. But even if i want it it's still very hard and sometimes it just seems easier to get back to my old habits of eating once a day and feel what not satisfied.
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