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jhncclo
318 M Embraced 2
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceJuly 4, 2015
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Eating Disorder Support / by jhncclo
Last post
 May 16th, 2020
...See more Trigger Warning: [Edited by 24Help1 5/25/20] Since I stay anonymous here, it's easy for me to share this with you. This prolonged isolation is fraying on my mental health. I've been hoarding food, eating all of it and vomitting. I've been like this since college and it's my personal secret. I feel renewed after vomitting my whole meal for specific time of each day. Also, after that comes self-hate, self-loathing, series of breakdowns. Usually circulates to the thought: No one will love you if you're unattractive. I may be delusional and as much as I try brushing that off my mind, for me it's the reality we need to face. I hate myself for not qualifying to the standards I am setting on a 'normal/average person', I hate how I lack discipline to even follow certain diet, I also hate how I limit my social interactions whenever I get fat or limiting my words because I get so conscious with how I look, I HATE HOW FOOD MAKES ME CRAZY. I hate how cringey I sound in this thread but it's getting too much and I can't sleep because I ate 2 bars of chocolate, large pringles and ramen. EVERYDAY I FEEL THE SAME, STUCK. Sorry for this lol
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