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k3rm
115 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2023 Member sinceJuly 18, 2023
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How to make a relationship work when I am struggling with how I feel?
Relationship Stress / by k3rm
Last post
July 18th, 2023
...See more I’ve been with my girlfriend for 5 months (8 if you count before we were officially dating). This is my first relationship and I’ve fallen into a rut. I also don’t have very strong friendships and have always struggled with feeling present or 100% there with other people. I care about her but I’m struggling to feel the “love” I once felt. I want to rekindle the relationship. Our relationship is so different from anything else I have ever experienced and I feel so accepted and cared for, I want to be able to also provide that. We’ve talked about how I’m feeling and we almost broke up because I felt it was unfair for her to be so sure of her feelings and for me to be so ambivalent. She told me if I was breaking up because of her, to not break up because it would hurt more (but obvs if I want to leave I should). I want to be in a relationship because I think we are compatible and we can grow together, but I’ve never visualized a long-term future for us. And I’m worried I’m getting “tired” or at least somehow sabotaging myself into feeling this way. I want to be as in love with her as she is with me, but idk if I am even capable of love like that. I also worry that since I haven’t had other relationships I have no frame of reference. For now we have decided to be together and she’s going through something so she needs my support. I still worry that my feelings are not enough and I want to get back to a place where I feel confident that I like her romantically and want to be together. Any tips? We struggled with this a month ago and then it somewhat got resolved but now its happening again. Additionally, we are currently long-distance for a month or so because she had to take care of a family situation.
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