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kAesho
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceJanuary 4, 2026
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ADVICES REGARDING RELATIONSHIP, FRIENDSHIP AND PERSONAL LIFE
Relationship Stress / by kAesho
Last post
 January 5th
...See more I’m here looking for neutral opinions, similar experiences, or honest advice. I really want a third-person perspective on this. From the beginning of college, I had a crush on a girl (let’s call her X). Over time, that turned into real feelings. I also had a very close friend (Z). We were extremely close in first year—hostel rooms next to each other, always together in class. X and Z were also very close friends. Through that, I knew X and talked to her occasionally, nothing serious. First year passed without much happening. Toward the end of first year, X and I suddenly started talking a lot and grew close very fast. Early on, I told her honestly that I had feelings for her. I didn’t want to hide behind friendship and confess later. When college reopened, I tried to cut things off because I couldn’t stay “just friends.” About 20 days later, she called me. We talked for nearly 15 hours, and after that we started talking daily for hours. We became emotionally very close. During this time, my friendship with Z slowly faded. Later, it became clear that he was upset because X—who used to be very close to him—was now spending most of her time with me. He felt ignored and believed I was taking her away from him. Eventually, X confessed that she has feelings for me, and we are currently in a relationship. Here’s where things get really difficult. This entire situation has taken a serious toll on mental health. X already had a lot going on in her life—personal issues unrelated to me—and all of this added to her stress. I had family problems of my own, which I was managing, but combined with this, it became overwhelming. My mental health has gone downhill, and so has hers. Z also reacted very strongly. At one point, he made it clear that if X stays in a relationship with me, he won’t remain her friend. It became an “either him or me” situation, which has scared and emotionally burdened her even more. X does have feelings for me, but she’s unsure—not because of a lack of love, but because of her past, her family situation, the pressure from this conflict, and fear of hurting people. That uncertainty is now making me question whether continuing is the right thing. I’m asking myself: Is this just an unfortunate situation where no one is truly wrong? Should I give her time and space to become sure, knowing how much this is affecting both our mental health? Or should I step away if she can’t be certain, even though the feelings are mutual? I care deeply about her, but I don’t want to force a relationship or cause long-term emotional damage to either of us. If anyone has been through something similar—love mixed with guilt, friendship conflicts, mental health strain—I’d really appreciate hearing your perspective or what you learned from it. Thank you for reading.
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