kenzietrone Member Profile

...See more This is my first time creating a thread or even using this app for that matter(so this might be long). I have a long background with mental illness. I’m a psych major and i’m recently learning a lot about having the genetic components for a mental illness but not actually having any symptoms of the disorder until an environmental factor comes to play. Anyways, all my life i’ve been dealing with chronic illnesses. I was born with JRA, an autoimmune disorder that later lead to me having glaucoma in my left eye. In elementary school I was picked on a lot. To manage my glaucoma I had loads of surgery and would come back to school with my eye still red and inflamed, the kids were horrible me, I also had stress induced ticks. Later on, my glaucoma was stabilized and then my brother died. My brother was my best friends and I have never felt the same since. I’ve always experienced depression, but it reached a new level after he died. Three months later, I found out I had a bone tumor (this was 3 years ago now). I ended up having a resection surgery that was completely botched, full of malpractice and negligence (that i’m currently in a lawsuit for) and just recently had my last surgery that is supposed to fix their mistakes. I was popular in highschool, had lots of friends. When I had this surgery I expected to be surround by love and support, but it was the opposite. My friends stopped making time for me, stopped asking me to hangout, stopped visiting me. I developed really bad social anxiety because I was so isolated and so self conscious. Today, I am 20 years old and healing from my final surgery, it’s been almost a month now. Two days after my surgery my bestfriend left to go on a mission, and my other two closest friends have moved cities. I am so lonely. I haven’t been able to go to work in 3 weeks, haven’t seen any friends in 3 weeks, and I do college online to accommodate for my surgeries. I am SO lonely. My only social interactions are the 15-45 minutes I get to talk to my mom when she comes home from work. I feel like everyone has gotten to move on with their lives and i’ve just been stuck here, in my bedroom or in the hospital. After my social anxiety got bad, I stopped seeing my therapist and psychiatrist because it had gotten so bad that any social interaction with someone I wasn’t incredibly close with was terrifying. Eventually, when im finally finished with my medical concerns I definitely want to go back to therapy, and also try to make some new friends. If you’ve gotten to this point, thank you so much for reading a glimpse of my story. So if anyone is in need of a friend (cause i sure am) please feel free to message me!! Wishing happiness and solitude for the future of us all 🫶🏻.

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