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kindheartedKoala98
2,318 M Hopeful Heart 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts95 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2019 Member sinceApril 15, 2018
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*TW* I think I might have an ED
Eating Disorder Support / by kindheartedKoala98
Last post
 February 5th, 2019
...See more At the end of December 2018, I got sick with some sort of stomach bug. I didn't eat for a full day. I realized that after that day, I was fine going without eating for awhile. The next day I felt fine, but I told my family I was still sick so I would have an excuse not to eat. At the end of that day I felt so proud of myself for not eating. The next day, my mom told me she was concerned about me not eating. She told me I had to eat. I wandered into the kitchen and peered into the fridge. Everything looked disgusting. How could I put that food into my body after going two days without eating? I was doing so good. I ate a granola bar that day. As I took each bite I could feel the food settling in my stomach, and I felt nauseous. Why was I eating? I checked the calories on the side of the bar and started to cry. I couldn't eat another bite. Surely I would have to make up for this by not eating. And so it began. My mom continued forcing me to eat food. She told me she was concerned by how little I was eating. I explained to her that I had "lost my appetite" For about 2 weeks my eating went back to decent. I ate as little as I could to ensure that my family wouldn't worry. Then I stepped on to the scale. As I read the weight it displayed, I felt so fat and disgusting. How had I let myself go? I looked it the mirror at my body. I felt gross. I made a vow to myself to stop eating, at least for a couple days to make up for my mishap. It has continued like this for a little while. I'll eat, feel guilty, and then starve myself for a few days to make up for it. Today I stepped on the scale and I had lost [weight edited by 24Help1] pounds. I feel proud, but it is still not enough. Not sure if this could be considered an eating disorder. If so, which one? Please help.
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