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kingkierantyler
1,584 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 36 Compassion hearts71 Forum posts39 Forum upvotes46 Current upvotes46 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceJuly 18, 2021
Bio

kieran, 22, i use he/him pronouns. i have three cats that i’m trying to get better for.

Recent forum posts
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hopeless
Depression Support / by kingkierantyler
Last post
 January 22nd, 2022
...See more i haven’t eaten consistently in like two months. my stomach hurts and i don’t have any groceries. i only have $11 until next month. i don’t have anyone to reach out to because all my friends think i’m toxic and my fiancé left me. my family lives a state away cos i moved out here like a dumbass. i don’t want to breathe anymore but i don’t have any energy or anything to do hurt myself with. i haven’t been able to sleep since last week and i’m miserable. everyone i try to talk to gets drained and stops talking to me. i feel stupid for even trying to reach out. i don’t know what the point of anything is.
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recent breakup/fresh trauma (TW)
Personality Disorders Support / by kingkierantyler
Last post
 July 23rd, 2021
...See more my partner of three years left me in may. we were engaged and i genuinely do not understand why anyone would want to marry me. the first year was okay, but i experienced a lot of mistreatment from the people who were my ‘roommates’ but in reality people just stayed at my house and didn’t pay rent. i believe they had hit me in the first year. they hit me four times total and cheated on me four times. my bpd was getting worse and i communicated that to them and they told me they would support me no matter what but i couldn’t take care of myself at one point and it was too much for them. they no longer talk to me and i feel as if i’m detoxing from a hard drug. i’m able to see how they hurt me now but i still care and still love them. i feel like ive lost my life worth living. in the last few months, i’ve not been able to leave bed or leave my home. i get up to feed my cats like three times a day and go back to bed. i have very few friends to reach out to and my therapist doesn’t see me as often as i need and isn’t incredibly accessible. i do not think i can be hospitalised again, i don’t know what to do with my cats and i don’t want to get rid of them but i also feel like they deserve better. i need more support and access to dbt but i haven’t found much in the past three years. i really don’t know what to do because this is the worst my bpd has ever effected me. i was also hit by a car and assaulted a few months before our relationship started and hadn’t healed from that. [Edited by @QuietMagic 11/20/21 to add TW]
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