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lavenderAvocado2406
362 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts57 Forum posts29 Forum upvotes18 Current upvotes18 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2023 Member sinceJuly 23, 2023
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Feel disgusted with my self
Disability Support / by lavenderAvocado2406
Last post
 August 13th, 2023
...See more I have chronic OCD, depression and what I did today was abominable.i matched with a girl on dating app. Had some pleasant banter..after posting my number,I went to look at her pictures and noticed a very large deformity of the hand.i quickly then went and unmatched her so she doesn't see my number.i feel like a low life. I know well the extreme pain of rejection and my immature response to her condition exposed my false vision of my self as some virtuously good moral person .I can only pray God has mercy on my soul and forgive me for what I did .I now realize the previous relationship pain I suffered was simply past karma catching up to me,how I just unmatched and dropped her from the app.
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Disorganized attachment GF
Relationship Stress / by lavenderAvocado2406
Last post
 September 6th, 2023
...See more The *** I have been thru for the last 1.5 months has been worse than Dante's inferno. The only silver lining being able to learn about attachment styles. This person I poured my heart out to,revealing aspects of myself I never showed. Sacrificing my time and effort to be there for the individual.to show concern and care, driving 4 hours 200 miles.the thanklessness and cruelty i have been shown is unparalleled in my experience. Repeatedly I asked her if she is not interested in a relationship and would just want to be friends,being only met with vague responses. Texting her and receiving long stretches of painful silence , calling and talking everyday for a month to only to be dropped like a wet dog suddenly is shocking.learning that I have anxious attachment explains the pain I am feeling.but oh the cruel humanity of it all. Suffering from depression mixed with disorganized attachment is one *** of monster lurking the swamp of a painful life. Wasting my time during a very crucial period of my own life that has thrown my career off course with massive ramifications,points to my own folly and naivety. A beautiful face but with razors in the heart.be forewarned fellow friend's.
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Girlfriend 1 month
Depression Support / by lavenderAvocado2406
Last post
 August 5th, 2023
...See more I have been talking over the phone for about a month with a girl.I had one date with her.4 days ago she texted me she needs space to sort her life,we then had a long conversation in which she revealed to me she has been battling depression for 3 years and it is recently been very bad,therefore she was asking for space. I am very concerned for her,her family is not in close contact with her and she doesn't have too many close friends. I am worried she might do something to hurt herself. I don't know where she lives or the contact info of her family. What is the best way to handle this?I was planning to text her ,call this Friday to check in. She had mentioned before that she will stay in touch but I have not received any texts from her
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