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lavenderLemon3962
101 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceOctober 16, 2021
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Alone and tired
Relationship Stress / by lavenderLemon3962
Last post
 October 17th, 2021
...See more I thought I was the lucky one. I married the absolute love of my life. He made me feel so beautiful and loved and special. It came all crashing down yesterday and I just feel so numb. I don’t know how to feel or what to do. a little back story. He was a former marine and suffers from depression/ptsd/and low testosterone. He finally asked for help and I’ve been so proud of him. He’s on anti depressants and just started testosterone medication and started to see a therapist. I noticed a huge difference and we haven’t been this happy in a long time but his sex drive is still lacking. I’ve felt so ugly and undesirable for the longest time but know it was a medical condition so I’ve been trying to be supportive. Yesterday we were cuddling in bed and I had my eye mask on. I noticed he kept texting and women’s intuition told me to look at what he was doing. I lifted my mask and saw he was looking at rub and tug ads. I immediately left the house and haven’t been back. He called me and explained how he hasn’t felt like a man because he hasn’t been able to perform and was interested in the idea of going to one of these places to see if he can even get hard. Prior to me catching him, he told me he made a massage appointment at our local massage place the next morning. I am absolutely heartbroken. at one place, I can see why he feels emasculated and depression can cause you to be selfish. But on the other hand, if I didn’t catch him, how far would he have taken the massage. Was he just looking to get hard or would he have had sex with her? I’m driving myself crazy thinking about all the possibilities. what hurt the most is he told his friends about it and they all Seemed to laugh and thought it was funny. Do guys have no respect or is this just his normal behavior and I’ve been blind to see who he really is.
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