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lazymae08
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PathStep 4 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2025 Member sinceAugust 2, 2025
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relationship fights and mistakes
Relationship Stress / by lazymae08
Last post
 September 17th, 2025
...See more Hi everyone, this is my first time posting so thanks for listening i guess. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and we’re doing long distance (he goes to college about 2 & 1/2 hours from where i live), and we are both physical touch people so obviously the distance hasn’t been easy. Whenever we are together, we’re okay, we don’t fight, we occasionally have small petty disagreements but they sort out within 10 minutes. But whenever we’re away, we have fights almost everyday and they usually last the whole day if not multiple days. In the past I’ve made the mistake of falling asleep before calling him or falling asleep in conversation with him otp or while texting him. It’s not narcolepsy or anything i am just a tired person and can’t run on 4 hours of sleep like he does all the time so when i get tired i usually fall asleep pretty soon after. This bothered him at first because of the limited time we get together and the limited time we get to text and call each other but i explained to him that i can’t just stop being tired as much as i would love to and he understood that so doesn’t get upset about that anymore. The problem arose when yesterday my boyfriend got a haircut and i’m not gonna lie it was bad. i still think he’s beautiful but the haircut was awful. he told me it made him feel really ugly and awful about himself and that he was considering getting a buzz cut then. i have never wanted him to get a buzz cut but anytime i told him that in the past he replied with something like “you only like me for my looks”, so i didn’t say that this time i just told him that i still think he’s so handsome and i would support whatever decision he makes from there. he thought that when i said that, i thought that his haircut was ugly and made him ugly and thats why i “want him to buzz” and i told him again that i didn’t like the haircut but that didn’t make him ugly. now i know this is a really petty fight but that’s not the main issue. after this, he said he didn’t want to talk anymore because i made him feel awful and so we didn’t text much for the rest of the day. then at like 930 i was starting to get really exhausted (i wake up at 530 every day) and i had fallen asleep for like 5 minutes but then woke up and texted him and said that i was tired and wanted to know if he could call so that i could still sleep with him. i know that was a horrible thing to do but i was so tired and i didn’t realize it until the next morning when i woke up and remembered how i had made him feel and everything before then. he didn’t even say i love you that night or the morning after so i know this is the worst it’s ever gotten. i’ve been apologizing profusely and im terrified that he’s going to break up with me and he thinks that i want break up with him which i don’t at all. but he shuts down everything i say. i don’t know what else to say other than im sorry and i need advice on what to say but also how to break out of the selfish pattern of falling asleep without being more considerate. i know im an *** here but he deserves the world and i want to be better for him i just need help. thank you
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