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lemondime
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceMarch 22, 2021
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Does anyone relate to this?
Eating Disorder Support / by lemondime
Last post
 May 12th, 2021
...See more I've been having doubts about starting recovery, and one of my biggest struggles is I feel like I dont deserve it. The thing is, that I've only been struggling with what I'm certain is anorexia only for a little over 6 months until now. Every person I've seen on the internet has been struggling for years and that kind of justifies their need to recover? I seriously don't know and feel like I don't deserve to recover yet... Any thoughts on this? Does anyone have any similar experiences?
lemondime profile picture
Does anyone relate to this? Please help
Eating Disorder Support / by lemondime
Last post
 May 12th, 2021
...See more I've been having doubts about starting recovery, and one of my biggest struggles is I feel like I dont deserve it. The thing is, that I've only been struggling with what I'm certain is anorexia only for a little over 6 months until now. Every person I've seen on the internet has been struggling for years and that kind of justifies their need to recover? I seriously don't know and feel like I don't deserve to recover yet... Any thoughts on this? Does anyone have any similar experiences?
lemondime profile picture
Does anyone relate to this? Help
Eating Disorder Support / by lemondime
Last post
 May 10th, 2021
...See more I've been having doubts about starting recovery, and one of my biggest struggles is I feel like I dont deserve it. The thing is, that I've only been struggling with what I'm certain is anorexia only for a little over 6 months until now. Every person I've seen on the internet has been struggling for years and that kind of justifies their need to recover? I seriously don't know and feel like I don't deserve to recover yet... Any thoughts on this? Does anyone have any similar experiences?
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Is recovery really worth it? Please help
Eating Disorder Support / by lemondime
Last post
 April 22nd, 2022
...See more Can anyone help me convince myself to recover? I'm finding some good reasons, but it's too hard because my ED makes me feel so depressed and stupid for even considering recovery. I feel like I'm not sick enough and should wait a little more. I want to feel free and enjoy life, but I don't want to change... I don't want to gain weight... I don't want to feel bloated for days... I don't want to have a meal plan full of food... I don't want to go through more stress than I do now with possible anorexia. I can't help and think, what if end up not having anorexia and it's all in my brain? I'm gonna feel so stupid... or what if I choose to recover but my problems never go away and I end up not being happy again as I thought I be without my ED? I'm afraid it's not worth it and doesn't make me feel free like Iike I hoped it would at the end... I will feel so lost without it. I don't have anyone to trust and give me advice so I would really appreciate your replies or experiences or really whatever, because I think I finally made the decision to tell my mom about this, and when I do that there's not going back, I'll have to see a doctor and get better. I know she is gonna support me and everything, but I'm so afraid and indecisive whether if it's to soon, I'm just a little over 6 months with this. Please, anyone convince me or help me. If I choose to tell her, my life as how it is right now is going to take a 360° turn :"(
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Anyone, please help! I don't know what to do
Eating Disorder Support / by lemondime
Last post
 May 10th, 2021
...See more Please, I need support, I think I finally made the decision to tell my mom I may suffer from anorexia and recover. I'm planning on telling her next week. There's not going back once I do that bc I am gonna have to recover from the day I tell her. But I need support cuz my ED is strongly telling me that I'm being stupid and I feel like I'm not sick enoguh. Please help, part of me screams it doesn't want to recover. My BMI is not below [edited by Anomalia for weight specifics] yet. Please, idk what to decide. I don't think I can keep living on [edited by Anomalia for calorie specifics] calories a day... I am afraid of what can happen to me. I don't want my mom to continue worrying so much about me, I feel guilty and depressed. I'm scared that if I keep doing this for long, I am gonna be so bad I'll have to go to the hospital or develop something worse... it's been almost 6 months. Ahhh, I'm really panicking. I don't want this to be the end of my ED, I'll feel so lost. I was originally gonna go to an appointment with my pediatrician last week, but I lied and we delayed it. So we were gonna wait until June. I guess I wanted to be more sick so I could feel valid when I told her... so idk if there's any point on telling her sooner, we would need to go to the doctor sooner too... part of me wants to tell her next week, desperately, but part of me doesn't and it confuses me... Please help me, what should I do? I'm not even diagnosed yet, what if this is all me overreacting and I'm not even sick? I'm gonna feel so stupid :,(
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Help, I think I want to recover...
Eating Disorder Support / by lemondime
Last post
 May 12th, 2021
...See more Please, I need support, I think I finally made the decision to tell my mom I may suffer from anorexia and recover. I'm planning on telling her next week. There's not going back once I do that bc I am gonna have to start recovery. But I need support cuz my ED is strongly telling me that I'm being stupid and I feel like I'm not sick enough. Please help, part of me screams it doesn't want to recover. My BMI is not below [edited by Anomalia for weight specifics] yet. Please, idk what to decide. I don't think I can keep living on [edited by Anomalia for calorie specifics] calories a day... I am afraid of what can happen to me. I don't want my mom to continue worrying so much about me, I feel guilty and depressed. I'm scared that if I keep doing this for long, I am gonna be so bad I'll have to go to the hospital or develop something worse... it's been almost 6 months. Ahhh, I'm really panicking. I don't want this to be the end of my ED, I'll feel so lost. Heck! I'm not even diagnosed yet, what if this is all me overreacting and I'm not even sick, I'm gonna feel so stupid... I was originally gonna go to an appointment with my pediatrician last week, but I lied and we delayed it. So we were gonna wait until June and I had to tell her then. I guess I wanted to be more sick so I could feel valid when I told her... so idk if there's any point on telling her sooner... part of me wants to, desperately, but part of me doesn't and it confuses me... I just want to start enjoying life again... perhaps... Please help me, what should I do?
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Please, I would like to know if I have anorexia.
Eating Disorder Support / by lemondime
Last post
 April 16th, 2021
...See more I feel like I don't so that's why I don't seek help. Can anyone help me? Context: I've been dealing with issues about food and weight almost 4 months ago. I have lost a lot of weight quickly. My family noticed but since I'm in recovery of gastritis, I passed it out as a consequence of that.... but I know the truth. I have lost my period and I get bruises easily. I go pee more than 10 times a day and I cant concentrate like I used to. My hair has thinned out and I developed lanugo. I feel weirdly weaker when I walk. I can't stop thinking and stressing about food. I count calories of everything I eat and always read nutrition facts and macros. I want this to be over and be normal around food again, I have given up lots of foods I love. Eating and food were one of my favorite things on earth, but I felt fat and disgusting and that became more important. I feel like it has consumed my life, long time I dont feel like myself again. But I don't know how to speak it out because I'm afraid I don't qualify as anorexic and that everything is just in my head. I'm very educated and health conscious of food and what type of exercise, but soem of those things I can't do because of these weird thoughts and fears. I've never starved myself, I've never purged and I eat 5 small meals a day. I eat whole and nutritious foods, but very very healthy foods. I have freaked out countless times about my mom putting olive oil in the food without me knowing it. I don't eat anything that hasn't been made by me. I'm scared of oil in foods, white rice, bread, pizzas, pasta and anything like that but there has been few days where I ate something sweet or ate ice cream or pizza, but felt guilty most of the time. I've been trying to "recover" on my own and I thought I was doing good, but I feel like I relapsed harder this past 3 days and I can't eat normally... I don't know what to do or if it's the right time to get help, because what if I'm not sick enough? I feel like I'm not a good anorexic if that makes sense, so it wouldn't make sense to try and tell my parents or doctor about this... there's more things that I do and have happened to me, but I just want for someone to advice me on what to do or if I really have and ED. I've also developed OCD and obsessive behavior about things. I've become more irritable and susceptible to things. I get angry and will explode if something is out of my control. Panick and anxiety attacks occur now too. Please, anyone.
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