letsalljoinhands Member Profile

...See more Hi, everyone. I'm sorry, but I had to get this off of my chest, and I can't do it anywhere else. This will be long, I'm warning you guys. I know you probably won't care about what I'm about to say. I'm not asking you to resolve my problem from your home, I just want to know if there is someone with my same experience. I suspect I might have covert narcissism. [Edited by QuietMagic 12/9/21] And this is destroying me. � I've never been professionally diagnosed with anything, but I thought I had social anxiety. Recently, though, I noticed the similarity between SAD and a form of narcissism: covert narcissism. [Edited by QuietMagic 12/9/21] I had always thought I was kind of self-centered, because you have to be at least a little to think that old lady on the bus is gonna pay attention to your weird walk on a moving vehicle, for example. But now it's different. I'm not going into very specific details, because you don't have to diagnose me or something, but the clues were pretty consistent, or at least that's what I thought. [Edited by QuietMagic 12/9/21] � The problem is before I sometimes tried to brush these thoughts off, thinking it was just my low self-esteem putting myself down. But then my doubt would take me and make me think I was just justifying myself because I didn't want to face the truth. And so on and on. Pretty normal, I guess. But in time it's gotten to a point I can't think A SINGLE THING for sure. I'm doubting every thought and action, not only mine but also from others, and the �motivations behind them. Am I obsessing over this? Maybe, or I wouldn't be here boring you all with my stupid problem. Am I just saying this to obtain your pity? I don't even know. � I can't even tell if I'm depressed or not. Does that happen to any of you? You think you're just faking it to be the victim and be treated as such, to feel special. I legitimately might be just be doing that, it's just that sometimes it feels I'm overestimating my "sadness", sometimes that I'm underestimating it. It's the same problem all over: what if my "depression" is just me being sad about not having the attention I seem to want? Or are my negative thoughts just finding a bigger reason to beat me up over? Or is the latter just a way to hide the reality to myself? I know you can't answer. I can't either. I just want to know your story, if you've thought the same things I've thought. You see, my crisis got worse since I realised I might have covert narcissism. [Edited by QuietMagic 12/9/21] How do you handle the realisation? [Edited by QuietMagic 12/9/21] � I know, I ended up just venting with too many words. Sorry if you notice I'm being incoherent, I know very well I am. And sorry for any grammar mistakes. Am I just asking again for pity? � Any social anxiety sufferer with the same doubts? Anyone else with covert narcissism that can explain better what it's like to have this? [Edited by QuietMagic 12/9/21] I can't stand this doubt anymore [Edited by QuietMagic 12/9/21 per subcommunity guidelines; removed stigmatizing and generalizing descriptions of NPD]

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