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liligrace
1 798 M Little Steps
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts265 Forum upvotes193 Current upvotes193 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2016 Member sinceAugust 8, 2014
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anyone know of a good online forum specifically for BED or over eating/dieting?
Eating Disorder Support / by liligrace
Last post
 March 23rd, 2016
...See more Hi I was part of a wonderful weight control forum. But someone new joined and became a bit fixated, (perhaps even obsessed would be more acurate) on me in private message. It made me feel so uncomfortable that I blocked the user but then left for a while. Now I am looking for a new community. Binge eating is so painful. I have gained 10 lbs since January. I need to get back in control. Any suggestions of online communities would be so gratefully recieved. BTW, I do not do 12 step groups. Just not my comfort zone. Although I respect that they DO work for many. Thanks ! <3
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Dual me
Depression Support / by liligrace
Last post
 February 13th, 2016
...See more Hi irl, even on facebook I always sound so upbeat loving and grateful. I have tons of fb friends. And try to be inspirational and admired. IRL I always try to smile. I cannot go many places because of reasons I will not write. I rarely can leave my home. But when I do I seem pretty darned together. On the phone, always happy and in gratitude. But the pain is sometimes so much. Right now I feel panic and depression. No money to do what I need to do for healing this weekend. Life was so much easier when there was a teeny amount of money. Still was the depression and anxiety. But I could go to therapist. And I could be part of a irl community. I cannot go to just any therapist. It has to be someone quite specific. For reasons I will not explain. And these therapist are not covered by medicare. So alone I am with little help. Usually able to live in great gratitude and happiness. Even though I can barely leave the house or get out of bed. So there is my confession. Even though I have not sinned. (well my sin is that I am not loving and compassionate to myself. Sins against the self)
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Back after an absence
Depression Support / by liligrace
Last post
 September 3rd, 2015
...See more Hello I was a part of this community, loosely speaking. I left for a long while. I am hopefully back. I recently stopped going to the website where i kept a journal. I think this website has an area where people can journal. But I am having a hard time finding it. Can you please help me to find it? I thought of 7 cups as being a kind caring and supportive place. It is still my impression. So thank you very much for that. Please do let me know if you think my avatar would be triggering to anyone. I love angels. But one very stern website told me it was religious. I do not participate in religions. I just love angels. Thank you <3
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wanting to be heard
Depression Support / by liligrace
Last post
 August 31st, 2015
...See more Hi I hide out. I feel so much of what others feel. Take on their pain, their joy, Their love.... I feel it. Deep in my being. This is a precarious way to live. It makes life so vulnerable. I empath. This has caused me to live inside my home. I go out to the store. But otherwise I am alone. I have almost no human contact. And when I do, of course I do not ever say how I really feel. People do not want to hear such things. And I do understand and respect that. I want to be liked by the few folks with whom I ocassionally speak on the phone, fb or email. And so I lie. Lately I have been feeling depths of pain. . But it is exhausting and so isolating. Hard to be so alone with it. I am not a kid. i am older than you may think. Which brings so much shame to this. The failure of it all. I continue to post inspiring and admirable things on facebook. i continue to keep up the front. .But the pain is so profound that it has brought me back here to this forum I used to post in. Thank you for reading my words. The shame that at my age I still expereince such pain. The isolation. The humiliation for who I am under the mask of unconditional love and wisdom. And what a flimsy mask it is
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trying to cut out sugar from my diet
Eating Disorder Support / by liligrace
Last post
 October 1st, 2015
...See more Looking all over the internet for support forum with thread for people who are working to eliminate sugar from their diet. I did it once.  Or even twice.  But now I have inched back to sugar in my diet.  apples.  Peaches, chocolates.  Once you stop its hard to stop.  I even had halloween candy. i had not had any of that in many years.  I remember that giving up sugar is difficult.  But if I eat it then I have all sorts of horrible cravings.  So there is no good choice other than to eliminate all sugars once again.  I am too tired to go through this alone again. I do not like the 12 steps and traditions of OA.  I tried it.   Maybe if I give it up again I will feel better. But its excruciating giving it up. Trying to medicate the pain of grief, depression and isolation.  Trying to medicate with food.  I am too tired to keep dealing with this ED.  i am not overweight.  Not by any means. But if i were not hypervigilant i would be.  I am too tired and worn to go on this way.  This ED has ruiened my health by starving. And it drives me crazy trying to not gain back what I lost.  ( over and over and over again.  yoyo)  I am too tired and old for this.  Trying now to go back to sugar free diet. I cannot have just a little bit. This is not how my mind works. Thanks for reading, if you did.  Oh I am tired and in pain !!
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Emotional pain amplified when physically ill
General Support / by liligrace
Last post
 November 29th, 2016
...See more Hi. I had strep when I was a kid. Apparantly it was not treated properly.  So now I have strep deep in my body that surfaces way too often.  They can treat it each time. But its hard to get rid of it completely.   Right now I am sick. Which means I cannot go out to get the groceries and supplies I really need.  I need groceries from 3 stores. But its too much to go to all 3 stores.  And I am all alone. No one to do get anything for me. A "friend" ( I do things for her)  asked me to get something for her at Costco. I wrote back that I will get it for her. But it may not be too soon because I have strep. She didnt reply. She didnt really care.  Honestly, no one does.  Being sick with this just amplifies the utter aloneness. And also other emotions.  
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