littleCoconut3224 Member Profile

...See more So I've been dating this guy for the past 4 months. He was a friend of mine. It hadn't been long since we met when he told his friends that he feels for me and likes me. It was rather too quick for me to fall in love. I wanted to take my time and see if we were compatible. I liked the idea of being loved though and so I took it forward with him. We kissed, cuddled and made out a few times. It was all in a calculated order so as to not look available yet be with him. He was really into me and was never shy to accept that he loved me. I on the other hand couldn't really react well to the situation and I kept not accepting the fact that I am dating him in public for some reason. We were together all the time. He used to call me, surprise me, keep me updated, share memes and do cheesy stuff. I am guilty for lack of efforts here. It might also be a reason why he stopped liking the idea of being with me anymore. Anyways, our relationship was never posted on social media though the entire college knew about us in some way or the other. People would refer to me as his girlfriend and not by my name. There were also instances of people teasing me and stuff that made me insecure about us and I didn't accept to be his girlfriend in public. He also had a habit of checking out girls when he was with his friends. He did that 100% jokingly at that time but it made me feel stupid. He is a social person and had this one girl who liked him a lot. Let's just call her K. He told me about K. K was super paranoid and kept calling him all the time. She was a good friend of his so I never stopped him from talking to her as I didn't want to be restrictive. He then told me one day that K proposed to him and asked me about how he should reply to her. I told him to do whatever he feels is right and probably just say that we are seeing each other. He went on to tell her that he was dating me and loved me. That girl still kept trying. Now one fine day he tells me that this won't work out and that we should break up. I didn't see this coming at all. I didn't know how to react. I thought it wouldn't bother me as much cause I wasn't really dating him. But I just couldn't imagine being away from him now. He was my habit at this point. I really craved to have my control back. The next day though, we went to a party. We were both extremely drunk and since I wanted him back, I tried dancing with him and staying around him. He went on to initially tell my friend that I was trying too hard but then later ended up kissing me that night. Once at the party and then again when we got back home. I didn't know what to interpret. Was it over? Or are we back? We had an on and off situation of doubt for some time. I regret not having more proper communication with him because I didn't want to lose him again. I tried to tell now tell him that I loved him and I want him to stay. We got back together for a while. I was happy. But he told me one day that he still needs time to be sure. I gave him his time and he decided a few days after that he really wants to leave me. I was shattered. He told me that whenever happened between us was beautiful but we are still young and yet to explore. His cousins and siblings knew about me, the entire college knew about us, I was stuck with his identity attached to mine. I couldn't move on easily but since he was not in town, it helped me stay away. I thought that we are not a thing now but he was always very different with me when we were alone and when we were in public. He'd be caring and loving towards me in private and casual friendly in public. He'd deny our relationship now to his friends but still leave no opportunity to be with me. I felt kinda used and even confronted but his actions of affection and my will to be with him made it difficult to not fall trap to his plans. We made out several times even after we broke up. He showed me affection in front of everybody else at times as well. I always felt that he might come back to me because he kept doing things for me. Both big and small. But that didn't happen. Instead I get to know that he is seeing K as well this other girl M. He wants to date a rich girl who's beautiful. He still tried to keep me as a backup for the time being. I am completely heartbroken. I don't know if I want him or the control back but I crave this guy so much. I know he isn't the type of guy to do stuff like these but his friends influence him into believing that this is what cool kids do. He gets influenced easily. I sometimes feel like it was the right person at the wrong time. The months of us dating was a time of many changes in our lives and everything around us. It also had to be long distance quite often. Though we went on trips together, made memories etc. But at the end of it all, he isn't with me. I really want him back. But I feel like he has moved on as he dosen't check all my snaps regularly these days or talks to me without intentions. How do I move on? How do i deal with his mixed signals? Is he trying to use me or is unsure? What should I do if ever he tries to patch things up with me? How do I stop obsessing over him and be happy? I haven't loved a guy before, the way that I loved him. I might get a better guy but I cannot get over this guy for now and it hurts so much. HELP.

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