littleDuck444 Member Profile

...See more So the guy I’ve been seeing (and things were progressing and going extremely well! For once I felt safe and emotionally available for the first time in a long time!) we were on the phone he got triggered (he has trust issues from pst traumatic relationships ) and the next morning he texted me and said “sorry for getting frustrated and overthinking hypothetical situations that aren’t even issues with us❤️ it’s not easy for me to be vulnerable but I know I want to be with you and I know you want to be with me” and somewhere along the rest of the day, by the evening he was totally in his head spiraling and started saying things like “maybe we just want different things, you’ll be fine” and he was totally convinced that I wasn’t into him? And started pushing me away . I was so confused and panicking (and not sober) and I freaked out and tried calling him like ...a lot 😅😞 I’m not proud of that, I seriously regret it cause I know it made things worse but I was so desperate to talk and clear up any misunderstanding or doubts . He asked me to stop , I stopped and we said goodnight and I asked him to talk to me tomorrow cause I know we can clear things up . We went from falling asleep on the phone every night to him telling me I don’t care about him 🥺 the next day I didn’t attempt to contact him And give him space — I could see he was active on his IG but resisted the urge to send him anything. By the evening time I noticed I was blocked— on EVERYTHING. Blocked on ig and deleted on snap. I don’t even want to TRY his phone number because if I see I’m blocked there it will crush me even more. I’ve been out of town hours away visiting family (which I’m sure has contributed to his anxiety especially cause when he gets in his head like that I can’t be there to physically comfort him) but we were just counting down the days for me to come back next Tuesday 🥺 we had date plans and everything we were so excited and he’d tell me how much he misses me . I’m hoping he’s just blocking cause of the excessive calling so he can have space and focus on his stressful school/work week. And that once he knows I’m back in town he will unblock and reach out. Praying for that really. I’m not gonna stop by his place or anything like that cause I want to respect his boundaries but I feel like I’m going insane . Like the rug was pulled out beneath me. Like to just block someone out of your life without even a proper goodbye. I’m so hurt and confused . I’m shocked that I was so emotionally invested to even be feeling this much pain. I’ve been ghosted and left before but I haven’t felt pain and withdrawals like this in so many years since my first heartbreak. This guy was so special for me, I thought I finally got it right. Now I just feel like...empty.

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