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littleHickory1529
319 M Embraced 2
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2020 Member sinceMarch 24, 2019
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Trauma Support / by littleHickory1529
Last post
 April 2nd, 2019
...See more Ive spent the last several years in an environment being completely saturated with extreme violence. Ive been a first responder to multiple homicides, assaults with weapons and multi-casualty situations. Ive been covered in another human beings blood and felt the sternum of another person crumble under my hands while performing CPR. To say the least, I wasnt able to let my gaurd down for most of the last six years. I accepted that these things were just part of the job and I had a good routine for my physical and mental health which kept me from losing it. But I left that environment in June of 2018. I took another position, in another state and Im in a much safer place now. I can let my gaurd down without any threat of violence on me and no more witnessing the violence of others. But then, out of the blue in December I started having what I thought was heart attacks. Crazy intense palpitations, blurred vision, short of breath etc. etc. I went to the emergency three times in ten days. The spectrum of tests show my heart is structurally sound. I havent slept more than 3 hrs at a time in months now. My wife thinks its PTSD. I dont know whats going on. I gotta good job, happy family, just moved to an amazing place that we all love but Im more scared now to go into town or out to a restaurant than I was working in a high risk environment. Can this be PTSD? just some kind of anxiety issue? What else could it be?
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